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Post by justdar on Apr 1, 2006 9:55:58 GMT -5
Cyclegoddess, Very cool! I've never done an Aids Ride, but I do a few Century's every year, MS, Breast Cancer, and some club rides. I'm also training for a Sprint Tri in June. I've done a couple before, they are fun and great motivation to cross train. Like you I'm not fast, well, my bike speed is usually in the high end, but swimming and running, not so much. I've been a lifetime WW'r for about a year and a half, and I exercise a lot, but I can't seem to drop to a number below goal that will let me stay comfortably in the two pound range of not having to pay. So I'm hoping this change up in my workout routine will put me over or rather under that elusive number.
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Post by cyclegoddess on Apr 2, 2006 13:44:46 GMT -5
Good luck with your tri! I know when I first added running into my bike training, it made a huge change in weight loss. Which is why I need to restart that. Here's a question for our LGBT board... is anyone on here bisexual? I have considered myself bi since I came out eight years ago, but I identify as gay and primarily have only dated women since I came out. In the last two months I started seeing a man, someone I've known for years and never expected to date, but suddenly one day this amazing chemistry was there. Its a very intense relationship, and mostly a good thing. He knows that I am bi and identify myself as gay. Its too soon to say xyz is where this is going, but I think about it. In part its about the idea of never dating another woman, in many ways I feel kind of newly "out" still and like there's more there unexplored. And beyond the physical aspects, being gay is so much a part of my identity. I mean, identifying as bi should techinically mean its an 'acceptable' option that I might end up partnered with a man. But technicalities aside, can I maintain my gay self in a relationship with a guy? Can I still be "real" in the gay community if I'm not dating a woman? Aye yaye yaye.
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Post by cyclegoddess on Apr 2, 2006 18:04:54 GMT -5
I'll add to that last post... in the beginning I wasn't really thinking about it, just enjoying the new relationship. Then a week ago, 2 ex-girlfriends reached out to me in the same day (this never happens to me!).
One I just went out with briefly and its flattering she called but not someone I want to restart things with. The other was my first love, we dated for about 6 months (7-8 years ago) until she dumped me on Valentine's Day to return to her last ex. Despite the tragic ending, she was a huge part of my coming out process. And no one more than her personifies the "roads not travelled" for me in terms of further exploring relationships with women.
She and I have emailed a little bit this week but not spoken by phone, although we exchanged more recent pictures & phone #s. But that's it.
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Post by xenagoddess on Apr 2, 2006 20:18:17 GMT -5
Well........ I think queer is a state of mind that is integral to who you are. Who you are dating/being with, aside your identity, is your decision and there are many folks in the whole who identity as bi and queer and are dating opposite gender folks. Wow that is easy to say....but really hard to do. I am very much partnered with a woman, identified as a lesbian but am also attracted to men. Would I date one if I were to lose my partner...geez I don't know, maybe, but I would imagine that it would really screw with my head too. There is more and more of an active bi community and I would encourage you to look into that. Just cause your with a guy does not make you straight or any less a rightful member of the queer world. Rambling...hope it is helpful. It is a great question. I wish you luck with your new sweetie! Keep writing.
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Post by cyclegoddess on Apr 2, 2006 20:29:13 GMT -5
Thanks Xena... it helps just to have a sounding board I guess. I do agree that being involved with a man doesn't have to negate the rest of my identity... or change my involvement in gay politics, community groups etc. I guess I am just feeling a little insecure. Your support means a lot to me. (((xena)))
One thing I do know... the times I feel confused about things are when I am apart from him, not when we are together. He's a good person. And trying to learn about how to be supportive of me, all of who I am.
The good thing is, i don't need to answer any "forever" kind of questions right now. We have both agreed that as wonderful and intense as it is, we are still in the stage of getting to know each other and see what develops.
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Post by xenagoddess on Apr 2, 2006 20:31:50 GMT -5
I would imagine that one of the hard things about being with a man is you see how much priviledge/acceptance straight folks get. I think that would bug me the most. BUT that has nothing to do with your partner and who he is.
Glad to support you. That is what we are all here for at Kippy's!
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Post by cyclegoddess on Apr 2, 2006 20:52:00 GMT -5
In terms of acceptance anyway... the funny thing is since we are different races, still get the stares every time we eat out etc. I would have thought people would be past that by now... silly me.
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Post by nightsinge on Apr 4, 2006 17:07:04 GMT -5
Oh yeah the race issues continue unfortunately. It's just less "acceptable" to talk about them. Kind of a shame, because then a lot of people pretend (or believe) that there is no longer discrimination in this country.
I support you in your identity. I see it as a flowing thing--who we are today is not who we were 5 or 10 years or even minutes ago. Labeling can be good if we can find support with others like us, but it can be limiting as well. Hugs to you and I wish you happiness--whatever form it takes.
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Post by slimcris on May 3, 2006 5:29:58 GMT -5
Hello there. A quick note from a straight woman, but gay ally, at the risk of sounding ignorant.
I hope you don't feel as though I'm belittling your dilemma, by suggesting more positivity. But by reading your posts I feel as though you are looking at things in terms of what you lose by 'choosing' one side or the other. My first instinct is to say that you're thinking about it too much - because really, you'll know when something feels like a forever kind of thing and you shouldn't have to weigh out consequences.
On the other hand, in my relatively short, but decision and dilemma filled life, I'm a classic over-thinker and have never been able to leave things up to fate or time to decide. But I've found that when I start weighing the baggage (read: negative consequences) that comes with one decision vs another, I lose sight of why I wanted either option. I have found it far more helpful to look at the positives I will gain from each situation, and make decisions based on which set of positive aspects I like better. It may sound silly, but in all honesty that little flip in perspective can mean the difference between making contemplation a chore, and making it a bit more exciting.
Not sure if this helps or not. Hopefully I'm not making it sound like a trivial process - but it might at least help your peace-of-mind to flip your thoughts to more positive aspects of each scenario. If it doesn't help you reach a decision, you might at least feel better about where you are.
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Post by nightsinge on May 3, 2006 17:21:48 GMT -5
Hey Chris!
I know your post isn't directed at me, but wanted to say thanks for the insights--and for being an ally.
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Post by slimcris on May 4, 2006 6:44:25 GMT -5
Haha night - if I weren't an ally, my population of close friends would be reduced by roughly 50%
Kind of interesting to think how much lonlier I'd be if I were close-minded and obtuse. I guess it pays to be progressive! ;D
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Post by vita77 on May 4, 2006 20:05:02 GMT -5
Hi CG and justdar....just want to poke my head in and say that I'm doing an AIDS ride this weekend. Just a one-day affair, but an important fundraiser for our local AIDS service groups nonetheless. It's a fun ride ... lots of the local queens get all dolled up in their fur & feathers. Sadly, only a subset of my cycling team (tends to be our GLBT folks & a few others) turn out for it. Most prefer our diabetes and MS rides later in the season.
Please don't tell me that you needed to add tris to your biking routine in order to get to your desired weight. I had a two-day running career that I don't believe will ever be revived.
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Post by xenagoddess on May 5, 2006 20:59:08 GMT -5
Good luck with your ride Vita. I hope you have a blast. Wave to the queen's for me.
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Post by nightsinge on Sept 10, 2006 12:28:19 GMT -5
Just giving a shout out to my fellow GLBT folks.
I'm taking my DP and another butch/femme couple on a water walking date this morning--to be followed by a healthy brunch! Yay! ;D
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Post by xenagoddess on Sept 10, 2006 19:55:41 GMT -5
Night,
What is water walking? It sounds like it is either very odd or very fun...or both.'
Cynthia
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