|
Post by xoxohart on Jul 8, 2005 22:55:32 GMT -5
Hi Sandy and Jane! Thanks for stopping by.
We are moved in to my parents' house for the rest of the summer. Poor Frederick, the big black cat. We had to leave him at home, locked in to our upstairs bedroom (all the work is going on downstairs). DD and I have visited every day, but he is desperately lonely. He is definitely a "people person." Today he got a little bit aggressive when we tried to leave. Sigh.
I made a blunder at lunch today. DD and I were out shopping and decided to have lunch at Boudin Bakeries. I have no problem with bread any more and figured I could get a salad or some soup. Well . . . their menu wasn't as Core friendly as I would have hoped. I ordered tomato soup and chicken and walnut salad. Stupid me -- it never occurred to me that it was CHICKEN SALAD! You know, with mayo and all that. I assumed it would be grilled chicken atop greens, sprinkled with walnuts. Doh! And the soup was full of croutons and parmesan cheese.
Anyway, no big deal. I still have to figure the points, but I did practice eating mindfully. And I did not exactly resist the bread . . . not ALL of it, at least. I ate one piece of the delicious walnut bread they provided. But you know what? It wasn't really THAT delicious, and I certainly am not thinking about the next time I can eat it. So it's all good.
I am going to join a WW meeting tomorrow. I have been doing online only all this time, which I love. But I am so close to goal and I think it might be really motivating, and more economical in the long run, to get lifetime status. I'm a little superstitious about it, but it might be time to rock the weight loss boat, just a little.
Also tomorrow, a wedding shower, lunch provided. Because I ate a slice of pie with ice cream on the fourth (worth every bite) and today's lunch, I don't have many WPAs left. I'm going to do the best I can and practice the mindful eating thang. It has served me well in the past.
Hey, if nothing else -- I'm getting really GREAT at maintenance.
|
|
|
Post by xoxohart on Jul 11, 2005 21:40:08 GMT -5
MIL is visiting this week -- s t r e s s. But I am trying to be good, and I think she is also. She irritates me to no end, though; isn't that terrible? After all, I am the one with the family and a busy, happy, productive life. Plus, she gave birth to my wonderful DH. That ought to be worth everything, including all the little snipes, unwanted advice, refusal to follow my house rules (or rather, my parents' rules, since we are staying at their house). But it still gets to me. My theory is that when you tell people things more than once (e.g. "Please keep all drinks in the kitchen or family room; my mother doesn't want us to drink coffee anywhere else in the house because of the white carpets"), and they keep bringing their coffee into their bedroom, forcing you to remind them, it shows a general lack of respect. Okay, enough venting.
Anyway, we had as much fun as it is possible to have -- SHOPPING. Yes, that is our common ground, especially these days!
Here is my shoe observation: A year ago, I thought really "loud" colorful shoes looked ridiculous on me. Now I think they look fabulous. My feet haven't really changed, but the rest of me has, and somehow, that makes a difference -- to how my *feet* look.
I also love shopping now. Unfortunately, my future SIL told me that the dress I was planning to wear to a party this weekend will be too formal. It is a wonderful little black number which shows quite a bit of cleavage, which I never do. But this dress is so flattering it is worth it. Guess I'll have to find a special occasion. In the meantime, I must go shopping again to find something appropriate to wear! (I bought some shoes today, though . . . )
|
|
|
Post by xoxohart on Jul 12, 2005 20:22:33 GMT -5
So, my MIL stayed with us from Saturday until today. Today I drove her to her other son's house.
A story to go along with that:
This morning I went out for a walk. My DH had recommended this particular route and told me it would take about an hour. When I got back, I found that an hour and a half had passed, so I figure I walked at least 4 miles.
My MIL was in the kitchen when I came in. She said, "You had quite a long walk."
"Yes," I said, "DH told me it would only take an hour. I guess I walk more slowly than him."
She said, "Do you pump your arms when you walk?"
I said, "I walk just fine."
She said, "But if you really want to turn your walk into a workout, you should pump your arms."
I said, "I just walked for an hour and a half. I think that was a great workout."
She said, "I am quite an experienced walker. I just want to help you get a better workout."
I said, "I really didn't ask for your advice."
She said, "When you are 70 years old, everything you say sounds like advice. I have so much experience in so many areas."
I said, " "
She said, "Doesn't your mother give you advice?"
I said, "Only if it is something she thinks is really important."
She said, "Oh." Significant pause. Obviously thinking that my dear mother is deficient in some way. "So she doesn't give you her opinions about things?"
I said, "We have great conversations about politics and issues in the news. But in general, she doesn't give me unsolicited advice. Only if it's something she feels really strongly about." I was trying so hard to be polite, but my heart was starting to race and my face was getting hot. My mother really does not try to run my life, and she would NEVER tell me how to walk to turn my 90-minute trek into a "real workout." She would say, "I'm really proud of you for taking such good care of yourself." She would never imply that there was no way I could ever be in good enough shape, since I don't bother to pump my arms when I walk. And I really didn't want to get into what a pleasant person my own mother is, and how supportive she has always been of all of us, and how hard she has always worked to help us achieve our best, WITHOUT giving a lot of useless, unsolicited advice. I think it would be cruel to compare the two of them. My DH has been trying to come to terms with the fact that he will never, EVER be able to please his mother, no matter how hard he tries. And not only that, but she is one of those people who will tell you how to eat healthy, while cramming an entire ice cream sandwich into her mouth. And then she will tell you, with a straight face, that she never eats ice cream, because it has so much fat.
This arm-pumping discussion was not our only "disagreement," but probably the only one my MIL was really aware of. I often bite my tongue (boy is it sore right now) rather than disagree or try to correct the many misconceptions she holds, because she does not like it when people disagree with her, even if they are just trying to politely tell her they really don't like unsolicited advice. In fact, she can become quite nasty and say some really awful things.
We really did have a rather nice visit. It's just that these little episodes are ALWAYS interspersed. And ironically, during my 90-minute walk which was unfortunately not a "real workout," I was thinking, "Maybe I'll ask MIL to stay until Saturday. Even if she doesn't want to, she will appreciate being asked." After our little conversation, I shoved her bags into the car as planned, and took her to her other son's house.
|
|
|
Post by xoxohart on Jul 13, 2005 15:44:26 GMT -5
I'm having fun finding new walking routes around my parents' house. Today I went for an hour walk. The best part was finding some wild blackberries along the way. Now I'm listening to DS's violin lesson; after that I will take the kids swimming, then take DD to karate, then DS to baseball. Whew.
Food so far today:
Breakfast -- oatmeal, blueberries, 1 tsp flax oil, soy milk & sf syrup. Also iced coffee made with lots of soy milk. Snack -- hard boiled egg, fresh pineapple; a few cherries Lunch -- turkey chili; fresh corn; ff cheese; salsa; nonfat latte
Not sure what dinner will be. It is in the triple digits today, but the AC seems to be working reasonably well. I hate to run it, especially since it's not my house and I'm not paying the bills.
I've been a little goofy this morning. After my walk, I started imagining all kinds of responses I "should have" given MIL yesterday. Examples . . .
MIL: "Do you pump your arms when you walk?"
Me: "Oh, no. I wave them over my head like this" (demonstrate, using jumping-jacks-like movement). "I find I get a much better workout that way."
MIL: "Do you pump your arms when you walk?"
Me: "No. I keep them glued to my sides, like this." (Demonstrate walking like a stick)
MIL: "Do you pump your arms when you walk?"
Me: "Yes. I find that I do not get a real workout unless I really pump my arms."
MIL: "Do you pump your arms when you walk?"
Me: "No. I don't want to exert myself too much. I don't like to get sweaty or tired."
MIL: "Do you pump your arms when you walk?"
Me: "Yes, and I also try to raise my knees as high as I can. " (Demonstrate marching around the kitchen island, knees high and arms pumping, while MIL watches, amazed at what a good workout I am getting.)
MIL: "Do you pump your arms when you walk?"
Me: "A little."
MIL: "Well, you should pump your arms to make sure you get a really good workout."
Me: "Oh. Thanks for the tip." (Turn gracefully and leave the kitchen, go to bedroom, bury face in pillow and scream, leaving MIL with the mistaken impression that her tips are useful and appreciated.)
Okay, that last one is the one I really should have taken. I've really got to let these things go. But then where would I get my good MIL stories? I mean, in a sad way, they are good for a laugh. Or a "My MIL is worse than yours" kind of contest. Or when watching "Everybody Loves Raymond," when I am able to identify with Debra's character.
Okay, I've got to let this go. It always takes me a couple of days to calm down after a visit. In fact, after the Christmas visit was when I started Core. Guess in a weird sort of way I should be grateful -- the outrage kind of energizes me.
|
|
|
Post by xoxohart on Jul 17, 2005 21:43:11 GMT -5
It's been quite a week with all kinds of events, due partly to my MIL's visit combined with BIL's upcoming nuptials. Some of the highlights:
Thursday night dinner at future SIL's mom's house -- dinner was COMPLETELY Core! Lean grilled lamb, couscous, grilled veggies; even the munchies beforehand were Core -- fresh figs, olives, etc. Unfortunately I spent all my WPAs on wine. Even more unfortunately, my MIL drank quite a bit of wine and said some extremely inappropriate things. Luckily my SIL has fairly thick skin and very good humor, but I feel for her. Hey, I've been there.
Friday night we had friends over -- lots of fun. Since it was "my" party, of course everything was Core.
Saturday a.m. I went to my second WW meeting. I lost 2.7 (I think?). A very good loss, due largely to the time of the month. And the downward spiral continues!
Saturday night, another party at friends of BIL and future SIL (from now on to be known as "FSIL"!). I used lots of WPAs, since my week had re-started.
And . . . used the rest of those WPAs today, eating JUNK FOOD at my daughter's birthday party.
No excuses, but my analysis of my behavior: Sitting by the pool, watching the girls swim, kind of boring. I needed something to do with my hands. I should have just stayed in the pool. Or brought down fresh fruit with me. Then the Chex Mix tasted so good. The good news is, after awhile it stopped tasting good and my tongue started to feel sore from all the salt. Then I didn't feel like eating anymore.
Although I wasn't planning on eating anything else today, I am feeling a little hungry now and still a little deprived. I think just feel really, really sluggish today, having one of my low energy days but not able to really rest because of the party, and DH got a little snappish b/c of the heat, which pushed my buttons. Time to take care of myself. I'm not going to worry about the food -- I can easily stay on Core and get by with APs for the rest of the week if I'm mindful.
|
|
|
Post by xoxohart on Jul 22, 2005 23:10:00 GMT -5
Wow, nearly a week since my last entry. I am feeling much better as the week has progressed. Despite using up all my WPAs within two days at the beginning of the week, I am feeling like I have done a great job, food- and exercise-wise. Except that I really haven't tracked, or stressed about it. The scale will tell the real story tomorrow.
Basically, I exercised every day, at a good intensity and time, and used very few APs. I had some extra oil one day, a frappucino at Peet's one day (MUCH sweeter than I remembered, and not as good -- didn't even finish it), and a glass of wine tonight. I know I could get in trouble eventually for being so cavalier about those APs, but I really hate writing down everything when I'm not in the mood. Makes me feel like I'm on a diet, and I'm NOT.
My parents are back from their two-week trip, and since we are currently living in their house, things have changed. Basically, I offered to do the cooking, because the truth is that I like to cook, just not for my kids, since it is hit-or-miss on what they will eat. I don't generally cook anything different for them, but it is still not very rewarding when they just don't eat what is on their plate. I'm not a clear-your-plate kind of mom; I figure if they are hungry enough, they will eat most things, and neither one is in danger of starving.
What was my point? Oh yeah, things have changed. Between Mom being on the phone and Dad working online, I really can't get on the 'puter much unless I tote my laptop back home and use it while I play with Frederick, who is locked up in our bedroom. And I just don't think of doing that until I am already there. So I'm feeling a little 'puter deprived, but also have been really busy for reasons I can't quite put my finger one -- having to do mostly with driving the kids around and spending time at the gym and at my own house every day. A good, low key kind of busy.
Food today --
polenta, eggs, Canadian bacon apple latte Big salad with tuna, chick peas, all kinds of veggies, homemade dressing of yogurt, mint, parsley, garlic and avocado whirled in the blender banana greek yogurt with raspberries and Splenda oven "fried" catfish, coated in course cornmeal oven "fried" potatoes frizzled spinach glass of wine
|
|
|
Post by sunshine on Jul 23, 2005 11:13:00 GMT -5
Xoxo, Just read your MIL story. I remember from an earlier entry that she is 5'7" and weighs 107 soaking wet or something like that. Your "what you could have said" post was great. I am a MIL and try to learn from posts like yours. I would never say such a thing to either of my DILs or DD. Hang in there!
|
|
|
Post by xoxohart on Jul 28, 2005 0:31:50 GMT -5
Thanks, Sunshine! I love the kitty hanging on. Reminds me of my big black cat, Frederick, when he's gotten himself into a tight spot.
I had sort of an unsettling experience this week. My sister and her family arrived on Sunday. I was out running errands and doing gardening at my own home when they arrived (we are all staying at my parents', due to our remodeling). So I walked out to the pool, and there is Sis watching the kids swim. When she saw me, she said, "Have you lost weight or something? You look great!" I realized right then that I hadn't said ANYTHING to her about my weight loss. I have e-mailed her about other stuff, but I think I really didn't say anything very personal about what was going on in my own life. And it struck me that I am *really* holding on to this weight loss thing -- I really haven't "told" anybody; I just respond politely when they notice. Am I waiting to see if they notice? Am I afraid it won't last, so why tell the out of town folks? When I think about it, I haven't even told my best friend back in New Hampshire, and we have both always struggled with our weight.
I guess I just don't really like to talk about it; I'm still getting a feel for the "new me" and, truth be told, feel ashamed for ever having gotten so heavy in the first place. After all, I've been here before -- lost weight, then gained it back.
My sixteen-year-old neice had the best compliment. She said, "Aunt Coco, you look great. You look really fit."
The next morning, Sis, who is training for her second marathon, took me running. She has a great method -- run five minutes and walk one, for the entire distance you want to go. We did three miles this way. I tried to do it again on the treadmill the next day, but couldn't -- boredom and fatigue set in too quickly, and I was probably trying to go too fast. I'll try again tomorrow.
|
|
|
Post by Wildflower on Jul 29, 2005 6:29:05 GMT -5
Good Morning Coco, Just checking in on you again. Sounds like you had a great "moment" with your sister and niece. I love the idea of running 5 minutes and walking 1...it'd probably be the opposite for me...I'm old and rusty.
I've read so many fitness threads and it all sounds foreign to me...but that idea just popped out at me.
How's the remodeling coming? What all is being done? Thank goodness you have somewhere else to go. We had to live through it, it was a nightmare. If I had to do it over again, I would rent a motel for a month.
Right now I am papering my office, which didn't get done in the remodel...and that was over 3 years ago! Gotta get on it this morning. I've been doing other things all week.
Glad you got over the MIL thing...I sure can relate to that. I got so mad last Thanksgiving that it ruined Christmas. Not worth it. It didn't seem to bother her a bit!
Have a good day, Coco.
Sandy
|
|
|
Post by xoxohart on Jul 29, 2005 23:45:22 GMT -5
Hi Wildflower, Thanks for stopping by! We are having new floors put in throughout the downstairs of our house -- ripping out old, spotted carpet and installing hardwood, and also putting in an entirely new kitchen. Both the downstairs bathrooms are being painted and given new floors, cupboards, and counters, too. Yes, we are very lucky to not have to stay there while all this is being done, although there is a certain (very) low level of stress at staying in somebody else's home, as well. The benefits outweigh the stress, though, as my parents are very wonderful and help me with the kids!
As for the MIL story, I've decided to try to let it go. I think it's good that I could spew on the boards and in this journal, instead of complaining to my family, especially DH -- doesn't do anyone any good. But I did need to vent and then try to make light of the situation. The truth is, I am the lucky one and she is the poor soul who lives alone and is frightened of growing older, no matter how fit and confident she seems. She carries a certain level of resentment towards DH and I because we moved so far away from her, but when we lived closer she really only wanted to see us in very small increments, and not all that often. She just liked knowing we were close, and that was enough for her. She was probably right -- now when she visits us or vice versa, we have days and days of contact, and it is too much for all of us! So it's a difficult situation.
I've had a good week, but am feeling nervous about my weigh-in tomorrow. Which is silly. I KNOW that I am losing very slowly at this point. I also know that I have done everything OP this week and have tracked my non Core foods scrupulously -- overestimating, if anything. I also have had several NSVs having to do with food choices and preferences. It's cool to discover that ice cream and bread just don't have the same hold on me anymore. So even if I show a small gain on the scale tomorrow, it's no big deal -- just part of my monthly cycle. I'm thinking about not even looking at the weight; maybe I'll just let them weigh me, write it on my card, and then ignore it. But I doubt I'll really do that!
|
|
|
Post by Wildflower on Jul 31, 2005 10:47:35 GMT -5
Hi Coco...just checking back in with you. The remodel sounds so great! You are so fortunate to be getting a lovely home. I watch all of the decorating shows...love it! What is your decorating style? Do you have any new ideas for your "new" home?
The hardwood floors sound beautiful...we put down Saltillo tiles in the hallway, bathrooms and kitchen. I love it. Very warm feeling...but if I had it to do over I might not have chosen it because it's hard to keep clean in the kitchen..the tiles are still porous.
We remodeled an old building..and made it into a home. Actually, it's not done yet. Working on that.
Have a great week...and enjoy your folks...I just lost my mother a couple of months ago and a lifetime of memories flood before my mind sometimes. She so enjoyed helping me raise my kids.
And God bless MIL...mine is getting better. I guess everybody is just a little kid in a big old body, no matter how old you get. I'm sure she's lonely. Have the kids draw her a picture to send her. She'd like that.
|
|
|
Post by xoxohart on Aug 7, 2005 21:36:35 GMT -5
We are back from our family reunion. We spent the last week in the Sequoia National Forest at a family camp; it was our second year in a row going to the same place. Every year, my family (three of us sisters, our parents, husbands, kids) go someplace together. It's my favorite week of the year; the kids love seeing their cousins and my sisters and I get to bond. I live near my parents, but my sisters are in different states, and we do a terrible job of keeping up with each other during the year.
NSV: Last year at the family camp, I did not hike at all -- felt too out of shape. I spent the week learning to water color paint with the artist-in-residence, making necklaces in arts and crafts, and for exercise did a couple of (easy) mountain bike rides.
This year -- a completely different story. I hiked every day and had no trouble at all. I also mountain biked three times; next time I will try some of the more challenging rides. I only water color painted once. I missed it a little, but enjoyed the beautiful hikes more.
The biggest challenge was the food. It was delicious. There was a big variety, so I could have eaten mostly Core if I had tried. But I got derailed by the desserts (Translate: I CHOSE to eat the desserts). I realized that homemade cookies are a huge trigger food for me, and they had those out ALL the time. The first couple of days I was "good" and ate mostly Core, avoided desserts, etc. Then I started thinking, "a little of this won't hurt" and soon I was having dessert after every meal. One day I started on the cookies in the afternoon and ate about 11 of them. I am not joking. After that day, I stayed away from the cookies, but still indulged in dessert!
I'm feeling pretty good, though, and back on track. This morning Sis and I did eight miles. We ran using the 5 minutes of running, one of walking method. After 6.7 miles, I had to walk the rest of the way home, because my muscles cramped up. Sis says I made too big of a jump; in her training regimen, the first "long" run would be five miles, which would have been perfect. But actually, the four mile runs I thought I was doing are actually closer to five; we used a GPS device that she has to measure the mileage this morning.
DD and I were supposed to go to a wedding shower today. When we got there, we found out they had moved it into the city -- bizarre, huh? Nobody notified us! DD was really sad; she had made the bride a necklace in addition to our very nice gift. I just didn't have the energy to drive for another hour and be late for the shower. I'm a little pizzed, but DD and I had a nice time -- I took her to lunch at California Pizza Kitchen, then we went to the shoe store and ordered the specific shoes she has been wanting, in the right size and color. Lunch was interesting. As I perused the menu, I was thinking, "Oh, lots of Core-looking choices here!" But then I was feeling like I would feel deprived if I didn't have some kind of bread product or pizza, so thought it best to go with the craving. I also ordered the tortilla soup, thinking it would be a tomato soup with some corn in it and a few strips of tortilla. WRONG! It was a cream soup. Very delicious, but I ate only half the "cup" (I'm sure the cup was really a pint!). I also ordered a foccacia thing. Really not worth it, so I only ate a little. The best part of the lunch was the two slices of really dense, chewy sourdough bread I ate. I also sampled DD's pepperoni pizza (a couple of bites). Used all my APs plus four WPAs on this meal, but I think it was worth it. Let me clarify: The FOOD was not really worth eating or obsessing over. But ordering it and realizing that it wasn't as delicious as I remember? SO worth it.
|
|
|
Post by Wildflower on Aug 8, 2005 8:18:25 GMT -5
Good Morning Coco!
How nice that you got together with your family. I am the oldest of six kids and we get so spread out. My mom died a couple of months ago, so we were all together and we so enjoyed it, albeit under the sad circumstances. The older I get the more I value my family.
I'm facing the same dilemma today, taking my 2 teen grandaughters to the city for some school shopping and lunch. They mentioned that we had gone to Panera Bread last year. I think I'll go there, because I do know they have some healthy choices. ...albeit I have no clue what to order.
I've been really biting the bullet this week, so I don't want to ruin it before the doomsday weigh-in.
I can't imagine how you could run so far. That is awesome! Well, at least I know I can trek around the mall this year without a backache.
Have a great CORE week! Don't worry about the cookies, they're history!
Sandy
|
|
|
Post by xoxohart on Aug 9, 2005 10:23:10 GMT -5
Hi Sandy, Well, I hope you enjoyed your lunch with your granddaughters. I am finding that if I really want some type of food, it is better just to have a little of it. Usually it's not quite as good as I remembered.
We went to Fresh Choice for dinner last night, and I ate all Core, except for a 3-point soft serve ice cream, which I "paid" for partly out of my APs for the day.
My sister is out running five miles right now. I have decided to rest; yesterday at the gym I ran 2 and found that my left leg really didn't feel so great. I would think it was "just" a sore muscle, except that it is only on one side. Maybe later today I'll swim. In about an hour, I've got to take sis and one niece to the airport, very sad.
So, food yesterday (I haven't done a very good job of reporting my food, now, have I?) First breakfast -- hot multigrain cereal with blueberries, soy milk, sf syrup Lunch -- polenta, eggs, Canadian bacon, leftover grilled peppers and onions, canteloupe Snack -- yogurt, white nectarine, blueberries, strawberries, Splenda Dinner -- all Core veggie salad with ff ranch dressing, including garbanzo beans and olives; baked potato with ff sour cream, salsa, and green onions, with a tsp of olive oil; split pea soup. Gotta love Fresh Choice! Oh, and a small ice cream cone (APs and WPAs)
Workout -- two miles on treadmill and 20 minutes of strength training (upper body and abs only)
|
|
|
Post by xoxohart on Aug 10, 2005 11:45:21 GMT -5
Well, all the relatives are gone. This morning I drove my parents and my niece to the airport; they are taking her to NYC for a week, then stopping off to visit her family. So we have my parents' house to ourselves for the next 10 days. Our remodel is coming along; the floors are almost in and the cabinets are mostly in place. Next steps: sanding, staining, putting in countertops and the bathroom floors; installing new doors and new cabinet faces in one bathroom. I don't think it will all be complete before school starts!
I said a couple of things yesterday that make me very disappointed in myself. I am such a b*tch sometimes. My daughter, who is 10, took a HUGE second helping of spaghetti last night (about three cups) and I reprimanded her for it, and put most of it back. Then later, she complained about her pants being too tight and I said, "too much ice cream." I am turning into my MIL, who used to hound my DH about his weight when he was a kid (she still does, but he is a grown-up now). I have got to put a stop to this NOW. Yes, I want DD to know about portion sizes and to pay attention to her comfort zone. Yes, it has been hard having skinny, picky eater nieces around for the last three weeks, and having my mother buy all kinds of junk food and bread products to tempt them to eat. But now I am back in control; no nieces or mother around, and I can stock the house with only healthy food and stop hounding poor DD. My goal is to keep my remarks gentle and kind; to teach her to "eyeball" a portion size without making her feel like she is doing something wrong by wanting seconds; to just not have the junk around and let her eat what she likes (just not right before dinner!). So, I'm going to have to watch myself, and put my inner b*tch to rest. This is why DH has historically not liked it when I lose weight -- I become hypercritical of everyone else when I am watching what I eat. And I think that the fact that I do NOT ever critique or even talk about what DH is eating makes me even worse when I talk to DD -- poor defenseless child. The real issue is that DH is VERY overweight and refuses to do anything about it; his portion sizes are huge and he always has seconds. And is very militant about his belief that "everyone should eat whatever they want, as long as they enjoy it." He doesn't mean that kids should snack and then not eat their dinner -- I think he only means adults should eat exactly the way they want. But he really doesn't like me to talk about weight loss, nutrition, calories, etc., so I try really hard not to.
Okay, that's my spew for the day. Bottom line -- I can't control the way DH feels about eating, his weight, my weight, and nutrition. I could very well cause my daughter to develop horrible self-esteem and an eating disorder, or to adopt my old binge/diet cycle, just by using my acid tongue whenever I lose my temper. So I must control the things I can -- my words and my own behavior. My behavior -- show by example; the foods I have in the house; the foods I prepare for my family to enjoy; my own portion sizes; thinking aloud about whether I feel hungry or not; taking her for walks/runs when she wants. My words -- answer her questions; teach her to cook (she loves to); praise her for all her good choices. She is such a special, sweet girl and I am so afraid of ruining her. If she becomes overweight, as many young girls do -- it is her thing. As long as I provide healthy food, love, activities (such as taking her to Karate several times a week), and education about food and exercise, she has what she needs to make her own choices, and eventually she will learn to control her own weight. I just wish that she didn't have to learn the hard way; my three nieces are all naturally skinny and it pains me that my own children will have the same struggles that I do. I want so badly to spare them that. But mean, thoughtless words are not the way to do that.
|
|