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Post by xoxohart on Feb 10, 2005 23:10:32 GMT -5
I'b sick, sick, sick. I hab a code. Boo, hoo.
I love to tell people that I never get sick. Unfortunately, it's not really true. What is true is that I never want to stay home when I'm sick, but I probably should. I certainly don't want to pass it on.
Tomorrow is one of my little ones' last days. They are moving and I don't want to miss tomorrow. I am feeling kind of sad about it. Guess I'll see how it goes in the morning.
Another problem is, I don't have steady staff right now. After school today, I said to one of the other teachers, "Is it me?" She said, "What do you think?" rolling her eyes. The truth is, I have a really, really difficult group of kids. They are adorable but they are very reactive to each other and each one needs lots of attention. They all have behavior plans, and I've worked so hard to get them where they are. Unfortunately, I currently have inadequate staffing. The first two weeks of school, one of my aides was fired because she hit a child. Imagine that! She was new; I guess I let her get in over her head. It's hard to know how to spot someone who just won't be able to handle it. Then I was lucky enough to have a substitute aide who was really wonderful and could stay through Christmas. But she had to go back to her college education, and since then, I have not had anyone for longer than a week, and it is a very mixed bag. So it's not that I normally feel that the world will stop without me, but I know the kids are difficult and it is only because of very specific interventions that they are doing as well as they are. I can't just leave them with people who don't understand the behavior support techniques we use, which work, but which each new person needs to learn. (And they can't learn them when they are only with me for a day or two, or even just one week.) I'm having such a hard time with this and feel exhausted mentally.
Okay, that's my rant. I doubt I'll be able to finish my third Couch to 5K run by the end of the week, but I sure hope so. We'll see.
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Post by xoxohart on Feb 12, 2005 9:57:58 GMT -5
Whew, what a week. I think I'm too sick to run; I am coughing. But maybe I'll go for an easy walk later, just to move it.
Yesterday's food: 3 eggs for breakfast Couscous and curried chicken for lunch, along with some fresh veggies and a tablespoon of real dip (3 points) Watermelon for snack A small piece of grilled chicken, roasted potatoes, and salad with avocado for dinner; glass of red wine (2 points)
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Post by xoxohart on Feb 12, 2005 21:51:17 GMT -5
A very productive day, even though I am still not over this d*mn cold. I am missing my jwalks (that's what I call my Couch to 5K "jog-walks"). DD and I ran errands all day, ending up in my classroom, where I worked for several hours and she played on the playground or helped me prep stuff. We didn't eat lunch, although we did stop in our travels at Peets, I ate some fruit, and DD ate some Valentines treats she had packed. Here's my menu for the day: Breakfast -- watermelon, eggs, Canadian bacon, polenta, coffee Snack -- Soy latte, apple, banana Lunch -- curried chicken salad with chickpeas, tomato, lettuce, yogurt, ff mayo; Greek yogurt sweetened with Splenda Dinner -- ? Still deliberating. Probably soup or nuttin'. I'm not feeling all that great, and lunch was late!
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Post by xoxohart on Feb 14, 2005 19:45:39 GMT -5
Happy Valentines Day, friends!
I have had a great day so far. DH made coffee for me and went out early to get roses for our breakfast table. My school day was smooth sailing for the most part and our little party was great fun.
Food for today: Breakfast -- 2 eggs with Canadian bacon; honeydew Lunch -- chicken and barley soup, apple snack -- pear Dinner -- will be out. Probably salmon, real mashed potatoes, and wine. Some WPAs will be used!
Still not feeling well enough to exercise -- somewhat congested with an itchy throat. But I am feeling better. I know my weight loss will be faster with the exercise, but I need to not obsess about it.
I am sitting here with all kinds of chocolate surrounding me, and I am not tempted . . .
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Post by xoxohart on Feb 15, 2005 22:23:44 GMT -5
I have learned something. If I really want it, I can eat one piece of really good chocolate . . . as long as I know I can fill up on some good Core food. Yesterday, a little box of Dove chocolates was really calling my name, so I ate just one, and shared the rest with my family. I actually didn't want any more after that one, and I also didn't want any of the chocolate kisses that had also been given to me. Sort of miraculous.
I struggled just a bit today, but not too bad. I was seriously tempted to eat some of the chocolate that was littering my desk at school, but I talked myself out of it.
Today when I got home, I made myself a bag of popcorn, sprayed it with Pam, and sprinkled it with the lemon-pepper seasoning. I ate it with my diet hot chocolate as a drink. It really felt decadent, and made me stop pouting about the chocolate. Not a healthy dinner, but that's what I had.
Food today Breakfast: cream of wheat made with milk; drained canned peaches, coffee, slice of honeydew Lunch: ff refried beans, jalapenos, salsa, small amount of soy cheese Snack: unsweetened apple sauce "dinner:" banana, popcorn, sf hot chocolate (had calcium in it)
Hmmm, doesn't look like a lot of food when I put it in writing. The old point-counter in me estimates 17 points. But I haven't been exercising due to the cold, and I did eat a lot yesterday, with dinner out and all.
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Post by xoxohart on Feb 19, 2005 14:28:02 GMT -5
Ah, Saturday. And a three-day weekend. But wait -- report cards (and IEPs, and assessments, and . . .) are coming up! I will probably end up working at least part of Monday, no matter what. But at least "only" four days worth of planning for this upcoming week.
Weekends are hard for me; the less structured time means that I feel like eating more often. Weird that I actually feel hungry at these times, too (rumbly stomach, weak legs). I wonder if I just don't notice the hunger when I am at work? Also, I still have this cold, although it is almost gone. I think tomorrow maybe I'll hit the gym. I'm still fairly congested and coughing, but not nearly as bad.
My big event today is going to be watching a segment on autism on the local network. I think it's NBC that is having a focus on autism all week; check it out.
So far today, I've had eggs and Canadian bacon; a banana-strawberry soy smoothie, and 3/4 of a chicken breast. I'll probably have 3 "mini meals" today, and one regular dinner (which will be taco salad). My next mini meal will probably be popcorn.
Now I'm gonna nap, and see if I can sleep some more of this cold off.
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Post by xoxohart on Feb 20, 2005 22:44:41 GMT -5
Hmmm, I was just looking back over the week and realized that I had several very light eating days, partly because I just eat less when I am working, and partly because I wasn't feeling well. So maybe my body is just trying to make up for it this weekend. I have had the munchies BAD. I'm not expecting a loss, maybe even a gain, at tomorrow's weigh-in. I can't worry about it.
Even with all the munching, it has been all Core. If I gain tomorrow, I fully expect to lose something the following week. I read a great article in the Skinny Daily today; the writer explained that you don't learn about non-scale rewards if you always lose consistently. It's when you need to find other measures of your success that you are really preparing for maintenance. So if you don't lose, or even gain, one week, consider it your lucky day -- you will learn something.
I'm sure tomorrow will be my lucky day!
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Post by xoxohart on Feb 25, 2005 20:51:42 GMT -5
Whew, another Friday. I ate some sugar today. First, some little starburst sour hard candy hearts, then some chocolate eggs. I am not sorry. I will not be so naive as to say that I have conquered the sugar monster. But I have tamed it, just a little. I am testing it, seeing if I can eat sugar without overeating. But all the same, eating those little candy hearts gives my body NO nutrition. This time last week, I was feeling slightly deprived, because I had used most of my points on Valentines' day the Monday before, and I was feeling VERY overwhelmed because of all that is going on with school, remodeling, and so forth. But tonight, I feel relatively relaxed, just tired. I have 25 points to splurge with, if I feel like it, plus any APs I earn tomorrow. Makes me feel rich. I am looking forward to a good long workout tomorrow, hopefully including running outside (if the rain stays away!). And I brought home the progress reports that need to be written. Working from home will seem more like "time off" than going into my classroom on a weekend. Food so far today -- Breakfast: 1 fried egg (no oil), bowl of puffed cereal with milk and banana Snack: candy hearts (WPAs) Lunch: Tortilla chips (WPAs) and guacomole; handful of chocolate (WPAs); grapes, plum, and a few bites of the bean soup I brought (was full by that time!) Dinner: ? DH will grill something; I will eat my couscous and salad along with it. I just had one of those irregular heartbeat experiences. Such a yucky feeling. I can't help but wonder if it is related to my sugar splurges today. I will have to watch that. (And make a doctor's appt.) Oh, I weighed myself this morning and was down 2 pounds. It'll be interesting to see if it holds over until my official weigh-in on Monday!
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Post by xoxohart on Feb 28, 2005 9:24:47 GMT -5
Well, the 2 pounds didn't hold over, but it is TOM. Interesting that I usually weigh less on a Thursday or Friday than the following Monday. I definitely eat less and am more active during the week than on the weekends. This is something that I will have to really watch when summer vacation rolls around!
Oh, I didn't do the Couch to 5K this morning, not exactly . . . was having some minor tummy trouble. But before that all began, I DID run for 12 minutes at 5.0 on the treadmill. That's a mile, folks! Plus the little warm-up walk and a few other minutes of walking afterwards. So, not a long workout, but still a NSV.
Kippy suggested that we think of 50 fabulous adjectives to describe ourselves. Hmm. Thought I'd get started, but will have to continue later . . .
1. compassionate; 2. liberal; 3. determined; 4. questioning; 5. smart; 6. creative; 7. kind; 8. sensitive; 9.
Gosh, this is hard. I keep wanting to add in "fat," "lazy," "selfish," "spoiled." Because it's true that I have the most wonderful DH in the world, and yesterday I was so snarky to him. Something about the way he wanted to grill the vegetables. Do you hear what I'm saying? He was MAKING A HEALTHY DINNER, and I picked a fight about whether to grill the vegetables together or separately. Okay, that's the "selfish" and "spoiled" part. Lazy -- housework? Nuh-uh. I hate it and get in a very bad mood when I'm doing it (hence the vegetable argument). And once again, spoiled.
See, here I am, getting all down on myself for being cranky twelve hours ago. DH has forgiven and forgotten. I DID vaccuum and scrub toilets this weekend. We are both very busy. I've got to look at this in a more positive light, and move on.
I'll work on #9 later . . . (this could take all week!)
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Post by xoxohart on Mar 5, 2005 10:49:08 GMT -5
I have been so tired lately! Thursday night I fell asleep at 7:00. I continued to be pretty sleepy all day yesterday. Last night, I did stay up until 9:00, and slept all the way through until 6. (Usually, I am up several times). I'm feeling a little better now.
I had a pretty good week. My grade level team gave a presentation before the school board early in the week; I don't think I realized how much I had been stressing over it until it was over. Just before it was my turn to speak, I thought I was going to pass out. My heart was thumping so heavily; I was really having that "flight" response to fear! Isn't it funny how public speaking can be one of life's most frightening experiences? Even for a teacher who is used to being "on stage" all day, every day.
Food has been okay, pretty natural. I feel like my losses are beginning to slow down, which is fine, I guess. I'm not really obsessing, but am really trying to make good choices. On Thursday, I ate some chocolate that was in the teacher's lounge -- about six points' worth. Yesterday, there were still some chocolate muffins and they smelled so good. I told myself that I would eat my lunch first, and if I wanted a muffin after that, I could have it. After I ate my healthy food, I did still have a craving for something chocolate, but not necessarily those muffins. I made myself a cup of sf hot chocolate, with the added benefit of calcium, and then I was very satisfied and also quite pleased with myself!
Food for yesterday:
Breakfast -- puffed Kashi with banana and soy milk Lunch -- polenta with Core meat sauce; 2 clementines; cup of sf hot chocolate Snack -- two oranges; single serving bag of popcorn Dinner -- baked potato with yogurt; salad with avocado
Yesterday morning I did my Couch to 5K workout -- ran for 20 minutes without stopping on the treadmill. It was a little boring, but really, I did not get overly tired. That's pretty cool.
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Post by xoxohart on Mar 8, 2005 0:23:46 GMT -5
Food for today:
Breakfast -- oatmeal with frozen blueberries, a little soy milk Lunch -- brown rice with artichokes, mushrooms, scant tsp. of parmesan cheese (counted 1 point), grapes Snack -- soy smoothie with banana, blueberries Dinner -- romaine lettuce, grilled chicken, 2 tsp parmesan cheese, 1/4 avocado; 3 clementines
A little low on the dairy (I count soy milk as dairy, as it is calcium enriched). Fruits and veggies are no problem these days. Oh, and I did drink all my water.
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Post by xoxohart on Apr 4, 2005 8:41:51 GMT -5
We were on vacation last week -- Spring Break. We drove down to San Diego early Saturday morning. My week begins Monday, so I had saved all my WPAs to use Saturday and Sunday.
I managed to make fairly good choices all week without feeling deprived. On the car trip down, I did splurge a little bit at a Mexican restaurant, but I split the enchiladas with my daughter. Plus, at that point, I did have lots of WPAs to use!
I was pleasantly surprised by the food choices at the tourist attractions we went to over the course of the week -- at the San Diego Zoo, I got a veggie wrap where the only non-Core item was the tortilla; at the Wild Animal Park I got a chicken-topped mixed salad (the chicken was a little iffy, even though they called it "grilled," but still a better choice than a burger!); at Sea World I got a carved turkey-topped salad and a bunch of fruit. On all three of those days I enjoyed a soft-serve ice cream cone as an afternoon snack.
I drank a glass of wine or beer nearly every night, and even enjoyed a margarita one night (but it wasn't as good as I remembered -- too sweet!).
The one thing that really helped was the fact that we stayed in a condo with a kitchen, right on the beach. Every morning, my daughter and I went beach-combing before breakfast. Walking on the beach is good exercise; the backs of my thighs and calves were sore. On the non-theme park days, when we just hung out at the beach, I was able to eat totally Core. But I did go over my WPAs by about 25 for the week.
And yet . . . I lost four pounds over the last two weeks.
I feel really good about the choices I made. I treated myself, but didn't go overboard. I made healthy choices most of the time, but when I really wanted something, I had it in moderation. It really helped to pay attention to my body's fullness signals when I had a splurge meal, like Mexican.
Now, back to reality. Have a great week, everyone!
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Post by xoxohart on Apr 18, 2005 7:50:40 GMT -5
Boy, I have really gotten lax about a couple of things:
1. Exercising 2. Writing in this journal!
I also need to focus on drinking more water.
Despite this, I still feel very on program and dedicated to Core. This is a new feeling for me, as I tend to be an all-or-nothing gal. In order to feel successful, I used to have to stick to whatever eating plan I had devised AND get in a certain number of exercise minutes, and if I couldn't do that, why even try.
I feel . . . . kind of normal. I feel like a person with a normal, healthy relationship to food who knows that exercise would help me look and feel even better, but isn't really stressing over it. Right now I am overly busy with work, home renovations, and DH being out of town, and I am not going to stress out about hitting the gym. If I do (and I intend to at least twice this week), it will be a bonus and I know I will feel great afterwards.
Today's menu:
Breakfast -- steel cut oats, soy milk, canned peaches, sf syrup, melon
Lunch -- leftover chipotle pork with beans and polenta
After school snack -- apple, banana
Dinner -- ww spaghetti with meat sauce
I will also bring three bottles of water with me to work, and drink them all.
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Post by xoxohart on Apr 20, 2005 20:43:40 GMT -5
Today has been a physically and mentally challenging day. We were short-handed in my classroom, and one child was having a rough time. I got through it, though; hurray for adrenaline!
Food-wise, I resisted the urge to stop at a fast-food place; I had to run errands after school and was starving. But I completed the errands, picked up DD at her after school program, and came home and nuked leftovers for dinner. Aaaah. Good ol' Core leftovers; they always hit the spot. The funny thing is, I would much rather eat my own healthy food than anything I can pick up on the go. That's more motivating than anything else.
So today's menu:
Breakfast Eggs, glass of milk, canteloupe (rushing -- no time for oatmeal or grits!)
Snack Banana, pear
Lunch Plain Greek yogurt with Splenda (eaten with kids at school; no time for anything else)
Dinner Brown rice, beans, tomato sauce, chipotle pork, homemade guacomole
Later, I will probably have some cherries with my cheesecake pudding/yogurt/milk concoction.
Somebody told me I was looking very "fit" today. I think even though I haven't been exercising much, the healthy eating makes such a difference. I feel so normal.
Now, yesterday, I received a more unwelcome comment from somebody I don't know well. She said, "You're half your size since I last saw you!" Not exactly true. I know these kinds of comments are meant to be compliments, so I smile but I'm not really sure what to say: "Thank you for pointing out what a fat pig I was before, in a voice loud enough to draw attention from every person in the room!" And to make it worse, she followed it up with an intense grilling about how I was losing the weight, as if it were a guessing game: "Are you doing Atkins? Oh, no, I saw you eating a pear. You wouldn't be eating fruit if you were doing that." I politely told her Weight Watchers; that usually shuts people up because they know how successful WW is. Forgive me, but I really don't feel like explaining the Core program to people who are just nosy. I will tell people who seem to genuinely want to lose weight themselves.
But really, I would rather not dwell on the whole thing too much, in front of strangers. I'm losing weight, feel great, but don't feel like being scrutinized. Okay, I'm cranky today. Done with rant.
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Post by xoxohart on Apr 21, 2005 22:05:31 GMT -5
I had a yummy accidental dinner tonight. I had a whole bunch of baby artichokes that needed to be cooked ASAP, so I steamed them. I re-heated leftover spaghetti for the kids and made one serving of ww couscous for myself. But of course, I can never remember how much couscous to water, so I made it too soupy, but it had a yummy lemon and garlic flavor from the goodies I added to it. I used two teaspoons of butter, two teaspoons of olive oil, mixed it all together with the couscous, and scooped it up with the artichoke leaves. At the end, I cut up the hearts and mixed them with the remaining couscous. It was all so yummy, with WPAs for the butter and a bit of parmesan cheese I added, and took a loooooong time to eat.
Food for today:
Breakfast -- cream of wheat made with soy milk; canteloupe Snack -- a couple of strawberries Lunch -- brown rice, chicken, chipotle pepper, avocado, lemon Snack -- fruit salad, nonfat latte Dinner -- artichoke and couscous concoction mentioned above (WPAs for butter, parmesan cheese)
Again, a couple of people mentioned how much weight I've lost. It really does make me feel uncomfortable, even though I know it is all well-intentioned. I also have a huge fear of gaining the weight back. At that point, of course, nobody would say *anything.* I will not gain the weight back.
It's funny; I feel much thinner at 160 pounds today than I felt the last time I weighed 160 pounds. Last time, I had gained 25 pounds. This time, I have lost nearly 30 pounds.
I've been having fun trying on things I haven't worn in quite awhile. I can now easily fit into a size 12 and am looking forward to a size 10 in a month or two. I am really running short on clothes, but oh well. The few "smaller" clothes that I did save are horribly out of style (not that I am a maven of style or anything). So it's very exciting. I need to appreciate that other people are excited and happy for me, as well, and not take offense or get embarrassed. Just be happy, say thank you, and forget about it.
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