Newbie needs help desperately

[momof2boyz64]

Hi, my name is Helena and I am a newbie here. I have been reading through threads and think that you all are a great inspiration..and it is what I need so desperately right now...I am really getting depressed and discouraged!

I have been on core for 2 weeks now..and haven't lost a pound. My weight SCARES me. I am only 5lbs. from what I weighed when I delivered my first son. I look at that number and wonder how in the world did I let this happen to myself! I was always thin and never had to worry about what I put in my mouth--until pregnancy. I lost 65lbs gained it back and then some..and then lost another 45lbs...and here I am! I have dabbled with weight watchers several times..this is my 1st stab at core..but my 5th stab at WW.

My first week on core..I used as reigning in my eating habits and knew it would be a tough week..but knew I had to start somewhere! It is hard to eat sensibly in my house, you see I live with Jack Spratt and his sons! My family can eat virtually anything and I gain from just watching them! But of course you all know that isn't how I got here..but they do make it harder with always having a wide variety of non-core foods and wanting non-core meals in the house. As they say, just because you are changing your eating habits doesn't mean we have to! And they are right. They are all highly physical guys and virtually burn off whatever they eat. Mom on the other hand..doesn't.

I have been recovering from bulimia since 1990 and have it under control, although I do have to say that at this weight, binging and then wanting to purge has become a new temptation for me. But I haven't done it and refuse to go back to that!

My second week on core I did what I thought was extremely well. I may have eaten past "satisfied" (still learning what that is) but stayed OP. The result..not one single pound.. I did sneak on the scales on WED (my WI is on Fridays) and had lost 4lbs..but..it is all back! My reply to this was to binge yesterday and make matters worse and now..I am feeling guilty!

I work with severe and profound kids for our local school system and have had all summer off. But, I stayed busy at home all summer and have only been out of my house for about 12 days because I am so ashamed of my appearance that I don't want anyone to see me! I start back to school on Tuesday and am horrified to imagine what my co-workers are going to think when they see me. Especially my "ww buddy" at school. She stuck to it when we started back in April and has lost 35lbs...I am so mad at myself knowing I could have the same results had I stuck to core!

I weigh 212 (gulp) that is the first time I have EVER shared my weight with anyone but my counselor!! I want to lose this, I want to be proud of my appearance again. I don't want my kids to be ashamed of my appearance and be afraid to leave the house and do things. I need help! I don't know what I am doing wrong and am ready to chuck this whole thing! I would gladly let anyone kick me in the keester just for the support and to get me going.

Please help! I am desperate...LOL and quite windy as you all can see...

[smac1977]

Hi Helena. We have all been there at one time or another. I, too, am starting WW again after reaching an all time high for me. It is very difficult in the beginning but you are on the right track. Don't let one splurge make you feel guilty. Think of the 6 days that you did well. It takes time to break those old habits and focusing on the negative makes it worse. Forgive yourself and move on. I personally begin with simple goals that I can accomplish. Even if you are eating a little more that you might need if you are eating core foods you are breaking old habits. I also entice myself with short exercise goals such as a walk around the block or 10 minutes of stretches--- anything to get back into the healthy routines again. Be thankful for the small successes and quit comparing yourself to your friend. I also have a friend who has been doing great lately especially working out with a trainer. That is her. She is at a different place in her life than I am right now. I can only focus on me and what I can handle right now. Hang in there. I have loved core and not feeling bound to points. The recipe ideas you will find here have helped me to find satisfying foods and new ideas. I love making smoothies now. I use ff yogurt and blend in a banana and 10 stawberries and a little spenda. Yummy! That and ff (94% ff) popcorn get me through the tough times. It does get easier and we are all here to help!

Keep reaching out when you need someone!

[vita77]

Welcome, and {hugs}.
Glad you're getting professional help. Issues like coping with bulimia, and being afraid to leave the house because of your weight, are a big deal.

We can help you to an extent. If you're not sure why you're losing, you might choose to post sample menus or a journal, and ask for feedback. You can also cruise the WW boards and this site, for lots of great ideas and inspirational stories.

Many of us started on this journey because we didn't like the way we look. Part of the experience is to learn to the love the body you're in, because no matter how much weight you lose, your body will never be perfect (no one's is). And if you wait to live your life until you're satisfied with your appearance, you may wait forever. Best wishes, and let us know how we can help.

[momof2boyz64]

Thanks for all the encouragement..I really needed it..I have been checking out the before and after pics posted here..and the lifetime members..and can see how much you all have done..that was inspiring..I know I can find it in me..I am going to try and post my menu for this week...I did walk this evening..so that was a plus...I just need to remember..I didn't get this way overnight..and cannot expect it to happen in a month..Thanks to all for your replies..I really appreciate them!!!

[yankees14]

:)welcome ! You should not feel that why at all. Just stick with the plan and exercise walking is thebest list to muisc walk for 15 mins then try to increase it . Youwll do this

[MelloYello]

Helena,
Just wanted to send some encouragement your way. I started out at 213.5, so I know what that feels like. You can do this if you want to. Focusing on mini-goals has worked for me.

Online journaling has also been a big help for me. Not only does it keep you honest about what you are eating, but allows you to vent.

Good luck. This is a great place for support, advice and laughs.

[GrandmaCore]

I agree. I started January at 227 and now 168.5. I also made mini goals and not look at the big picture. I also told myself that the food (fatty food) is not going away it will be around 50 yrs from now so I just need to get over it and start enjoying life and being able to do stuff. I had a hard time just walking. I started walking around the house and at first I could not make it without pain in my knee from arthritis. Now I am up to 2 to 3 miles. Just take one day at a time and try to keep focused. You can do it and believe me the salad and good foods (veg/fruits) will taste even better.

Good Luck and we are all hear to support each other.