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Post by mikkid24 on May 23, 2006 13:03:31 GMT -5
I've actually gone the other way on this. I used to be a "three squares" gal, but now I've become more of a grazer and, for me anyway, that has worked really well in helping me understand my satisfaction level. I found that I would get too ravenous between meals and then would eat too quickly which would lead to overeating before I even realized it. Now I just eat a little something when I'm hungry, and if that's 45 minutes or 4 hours after lunch, so be it. I also eat MUCH more slowly than I used to, which I find is great for both enjoyment of the food I'm eating and also to let my brain catch up with my stomach.
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Post by kally on May 23, 2006 15:36:22 GMT -5
I just took about 1/2 hour to eat a nice lunch.
crackers, bean dip, olives on top, asparagus and cold new potatoes, followed by yogurt
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Post by nightsinge on May 23, 2006 22:34:04 GMT -5
I just want to thank you all for being here--and thanks especially to Kally for starting this thread. Hard day for me--it was good to just come here and "be" with you all a bit.
*hugs everyone*
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Post by kally on May 23, 2006 23:28:24 GMT -5
Glad you are here nightsinge. What is it about food that is so comforting? Sometimes I just want to put something in my mouth and "experience" the smooth texture, or the crunchy bite. I feel tired if I don't get a chance to eat like this. My body gets weary and the only reprieve I can find is to eat.
What is that all about? I am sure there must be something that soothes and comforts just as well, so why have so many of us never found it. I know we have tried, meditation, yoga, physical activity, whatever, but we come back to food.
What is it about food? Thanks to all who are continuing this conversation. I am finding it helpful
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Post by nightsinge on May 24, 2006 0:41:41 GMT -5
at Kally...
The phrase that comes to me is, "it fills a hole." Sometimes that hole feels like actual, physical pressure in my gut or chest. But that hole is NOT the same as hunger. Why is that? Is it anxiety? Fear? Boredom? Lonliness? All of the above?
And then there are those...what are they called, seratonins? Whatever it is that is released when we eat--and especially when we eat carbs. How come I never get seratonins when I'm doing homework, or balancing my checkbook?
Finally, food is sensuous. I wonder if I desire it when I am depriving myself of other sensuous experiences...like a hot bath, or the feel of velvet against my face. How often do we really indulge our -other- senses?
That's all I got tonight, questions. Again, I am loving this thread.
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Post by katelight on May 24, 2006 6:18:20 GMT -5
Great questions Kally and Night. "How often do we really indulge our other senses" Food is acceptable in every situation, where other indulgences may not be, also we are trained from birth to be comforted with food. That is our first experience with comfort. I cry, I get fed. I've had 1 pedicure in my life and it was fantastic. Why don't I indulge in that instead of always reaching for something to eat? I think we all need a lesson on little things we can do to pamper ourselves instead of eating. Of course, food is always available, always acceptable. This has been very thought provoking. Thanks for making me think about it. Katie
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Post by kally on May 24, 2006 10:53:58 GMT -5
I agree about touch. Next to food that soothes me the most. I have a wonderful dh who strokes my hair and back etc in the evenings. We just kinda cuddle and I get the better end of the deal.
I would love to find substitutes for food. Where to start?
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Post by nightsinge on May 24, 2006 13:39:28 GMT -5
Oooh, I've never had a pedicure!
I've never had a professional massage, either. I think it's too expensive--and yet I have thought nothing of dropping the same amount on a good dinner. Hmmm....
One of my favorite sense indulgences is incense. I love creating a scent experience that pleases my nose--and yet has nothing to do with food. For those that don't like it, maybe one of those potpourri pots or oil diffusers would be good.
As to touch, I try very hard not to buy or wear any clothes that don't feel good against my skin. I will not buy anything with polyester in it, for instance.
And I do touch my friends as well as my partner--those who feel comfortable with it of course. I like to give little back rugs, stroke people's hair (if they like that). I especially try to reach out to my single friends, who don't have a partner to cuddle with each night.
Oh--and my cats, of course! Who doesn't love to cuddle and pet their pets!
Everyone else?
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Post by kally on May 24, 2006 14:49:21 GMT -5
man you gotta get a massage. Look for a good school of massage therapy where students are supervised. It can be wonderful.
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Post by cydkitty on May 24, 2006 18:05:12 GMT -5
Massages are awesome and on my to do list within the next month!
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Post by katelight on May 25, 2006 6:16:14 GMT -5
Interesting how we think nothing of spending 40-50 or more on a meal out but won't spend that much on a massage for ourselves? Great insight Night. Food is the accpetable sin. We have to eat to live so eating too much isn't perceived as a bad thing usually, spending extra money is a treat, we can share food. But if we spend the extra money on something for ourselves, massage, pedicure, jewelry, books, whatever.... it is viewed as being selfish or selfcentered. Yet anything in excess is not good for us. This thread has been great for me. I've really thought through some of the points brought up here and have done some self-evaluation. Thanks Kally for starting it. HIHO Katie
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Post by mikkid24 on May 25, 2006 8:38:17 GMT -5
You are so right, Kate! This is especially true for those of us who grew up in a "food = love" and food as reward/comfort/happiness household.
My mother was a little girl in WWII France and so as I was growing up she was always was panicked by an empty fridge and pantry--intense fear of doing without. My dad came from a very poor family that lived hand to mouth and he had those same issues, and those were passed on to me. Food was always the focus of everything in my family growing up, and still is--the center of celebrations and comfort for "boo-boo's" and sad times. As a military family we travelled a lot and explored every culture culinarily with gusto.
Probably the hardest thing for me has been trying to shed that ingrained mentality. I'm learning to reward myself in other ways than food. However, I've encountered an interesting issue with DH on this. I came home last night from the mall with a couple of new shirts that I bought on sale to replace some summery ones that are too big, and my DH said to me "do you think that replacing one addiction with another is a good thing?" Hmmm...why does he perceive my need to replace too-large clothes as a shopping addiction? If I had come home with a chocolate cake, he wouldn't have said a thing because it would have been something he would have enjoyed too. But because these were for me only, it was a problem--somehow wrong or "selfish".
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saraha
Corebie
Please let it be this time!
Posts: 36
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Post by saraha on May 25, 2006 9:26:31 GMT -5
Speaking of this very topic, there was a bit on the Today show about this. Here is the link to the article. Interesting chemistry behind addiction. www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12934360/Sarah
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Post by girliepurple on May 25, 2006 9:39:36 GMT -5
Mikki - no offense but your DH needs to understand why you are on this weight loss journey. You are not replacing eating with shopping, you are learning how to eat to maintain a healthy weight for life, for health, looks -yourself! Right? He has a right to his opinion however...and yours should be---Hey, I had to replace some summer shirts that are now too big! Whoo hooo! Not wrong or selfish at all. Hopefully he will see how happy you are and will be glad for your happiness.
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Post by mikkid24 on May 25, 2006 10:25:34 GMT -5
Oh, that is absolutely my attitude! I am so happy to replace all those bigger sizes with nice, small ones! ;D But he is the same guy who suggested to me when I made LT in 2001 that maybe I should hang on to some of those larger sizes that were being packed off to Goodwill "just in case I needed them later". I could see that in his view he was protecting me, in some twisted way, from another disappointment; it's not like the rollercoaster of weight loss/gain hasn't been going on throughout our 24-year marriage, so he has been around this block a couple times before. I'm not going to let that bother me or deter me from doing what I need to do for myself. He gets a benefit from this change in me--a happier, more self-confident spouse and, as he likes to tease me, a "trophy wife". <lol> I'm confident that the change in me is permanent--I'll always have issues, but I'm more comfortable in my own skin and more aware of who I really am than ever before. That's been the best gift of all from this journey.
Relationships--with food, family, spouses, or self--are complicated indeed!
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