Post by pookie on Mar 28, 2006 12:39:08 GMT -5
A troubled man made an appointment with a rabbi. “Rabbi,” said the man wringing his hands, “I’m a failure. More than half the time I don’t succeed in doing what I know I must.”
“Oh,” murmured the rabbi.
“Please say something wise, rabbi,” pleaded the man.
After much pondering the rabbi replied. “Ah, my son, I give you this bit of wisdom: go look on page 930 of the New York Times Almanac for the year 1970 and maybe you will find peace of mind.”
Confused by such strange advice, the man went to the library to look up the source. And this is what he found – lifetime batting averages for the world’s greatest baseball players. Ty Cobb, the greatest hitter of them all, had a lifetime average of .367. Even Babe Ruth didn’t do that well.
So the man returned to the rabbi and questioned, “Ty Cobb, .367. That’s it?”
“Correct” answered the rabbi. “Ty Cobb, .367. He got a hit once out of every three times at bat. He didn’t even hit .500. So what do you expect already?”
When we live in the world of “all or nothing”, we expect perfection and are not living in reality. In reality the world is not black or white. There is lots of gray. Lots of missed balls, lots of learning, lots of growing.
When we say things like:
“You never tell me you love me.” “I always feel exhausted.” We are living in “all or nothing”.
When you feel yourself in an “All or Nothing” place, ask yourself “Is that true?”
Just because a person has some bad qualities, they are not ALL bad. A situation with some negative aspects, is not ALL negative. When you have one misstep towards your goal, another does not need to follow and it is not all over!
Our brain’s default is “All or Nothing” otherwise known as “Fight or Flight”. This developed when a snap decision was necessary to survive – no “maybe this” or “maybe that”. We needed to know instantly whether to run or stay and fight.
Because it is our default it becomes a habit. We need to work to become aware of this habit and then decide how to change.
Intellectually most of us know that perfection is not the goal, yet we set ourselves up for failure again and again expecting ourselves to be perfect.
If someone came up to you on the street and asked if you were perfect, what would you say? You would reply “No” – which would be the truth.
None of us are perfect and that’s not the goal. Even if we were perfect, where do we have to go from there?
Words like: always, never, perfect, impossible, terrible and ruined signal an “all or nothing” mentality.
Answer the following questions:
Can one part of my life be difficult and other parts easier?
Can I be basically an intelligent person and still do something stupid?
Can I be a good caregiver and still be resentful sometimes?
Can a part of my life be difficult now but be easier in the future?
This week set yourself up for success. Tell yourself “I am doing the best I can.” Really, that’s all you have to give – your best. If you feel your best isn’t good enough, then work on developing the area you feel lacking in.
Maya Angelou said, “At the time, I did what I knew to do, and when I knew better, I did better.”
You ARE doing the best you can with what you have. And what you have changes daily.
Make it a phenomenal week!
“Oh,” murmured the rabbi.
“Please say something wise, rabbi,” pleaded the man.
After much pondering the rabbi replied. “Ah, my son, I give you this bit of wisdom: go look on page 930 of the New York Times Almanac for the year 1970 and maybe you will find peace of mind.”
Confused by such strange advice, the man went to the library to look up the source. And this is what he found – lifetime batting averages for the world’s greatest baseball players. Ty Cobb, the greatest hitter of them all, had a lifetime average of .367. Even Babe Ruth didn’t do that well.
So the man returned to the rabbi and questioned, “Ty Cobb, .367. That’s it?”
“Correct” answered the rabbi. “Ty Cobb, .367. He got a hit once out of every three times at bat. He didn’t even hit .500. So what do you expect already?”
When we live in the world of “all or nothing”, we expect perfection and are not living in reality. In reality the world is not black or white. There is lots of gray. Lots of missed balls, lots of learning, lots of growing.
When we say things like:
“You never tell me you love me.” “I always feel exhausted.” We are living in “all or nothing”.
When you feel yourself in an “All or Nothing” place, ask yourself “Is that true?”
Just because a person has some bad qualities, they are not ALL bad. A situation with some negative aspects, is not ALL negative. When you have one misstep towards your goal, another does not need to follow and it is not all over!
Our brain’s default is “All or Nothing” otherwise known as “Fight or Flight”. This developed when a snap decision was necessary to survive – no “maybe this” or “maybe that”. We needed to know instantly whether to run or stay and fight.
Because it is our default it becomes a habit. We need to work to become aware of this habit and then decide how to change.
Intellectually most of us know that perfection is not the goal, yet we set ourselves up for failure again and again expecting ourselves to be perfect.
If someone came up to you on the street and asked if you were perfect, what would you say? You would reply “No” – which would be the truth.
None of us are perfect and that’s not the goal. Even if we were perfect, where do we have to go from there?
Words like: always, never, perfect, impossible, terrible and ruined signal an “all or nothing” mentality.
Answer the following questions:
Can one part of my life be difficult and other parts easier?
Can I be basically an intelligent person and still do something stupid?
Can I be a good caregiver and still be resentful sometimes?
Can a part of my life be difficult now but be easier in the future?
This week set yourself up for success. Tell yourself “I am doing the best I can.” Really, that’s all you have to give – your best. If you feel your best isn’t good enough, then work on developing the area you feel lacking in.
Maya Angelou said, “At the time, I did what I knew to do, and when I knew better, I did better.”
You ARE doing the best you can with what you have. And what you have changes daily.
Make it a phenomenal week!