What I learned in 2005

[doinitin2006]

I had copied some of your posts, ones that really hit home for me and then last night, by candlelight as the power was off for 6 hours here!! I cut and taped the posts into a journal to read when I'm not so motivated or when a quick refocus is in order. I had a great time rereading all the posts as I was cutting and taping last night.

But mostly it got me thinking... What did I learn about myself and this journey that's going to a) get me to goal and b) keep me there in 2006. (as always that old resolution to lose weight poked it's head up on the 1st and I don't need a repeat performance of the same resolution as I want this to be the last time I see some of these pounds and I want to own these new habits not just borrow them as a good idea until I reach goal.) So I've been thinking about what I know I've learned and therefore own regarding this journey/process- and wondering about what has made a difference for you this time.

What I learned in 2005...

• That if you really follow the Core plan and don't 'tweek' it it's more than food. I now love unflavored yogurt and it actually tastes sweet and not bitter but more than that it curbs my cravings. It not only curbs my hunger but if I have some yogurt I'm outa the kitchen.
  
• If the plan says it's Core it doesn't mean I can have it. Popcorn is a big no-no even if it's 'allowed'.
  
• I'm not a 'normal' person and what people 'should' be able to eat doesn't apply to me. When I get to goal I know I still won't be normal and I'll have to live by MY rules, not those of the diet Guru's.
  
• I will journal and track and post and log. It isn't being obsessed it's being aware.
  
• I can do this for me without having to 'enlighten the world'. The more I learn and keep close to my heart without having to convert the world to my new ways the more this is for me and I will do this from me. I'm an ex WW leader who gave all my energy to the meetings and when it came to having anything left to chop those veggies I was out of luck.
  
• I am finally about the lifestyle and not about the number. I asked myself one day - "If this is the weight my body decides to stay at and this is the lifestyle I need to maintain to live at this weight can I live with it?" and the answer is yes. I like the way I'm eating and exercising. It's not compulsive although if I described my world to someone else they'd probably pick it apart but I know it works for me!!
  
• Today is my life. I need to spend every minute well. I know that my life doesn't start when the scale reaches that magic number. (PS ...and today is going to be a great day!!)
  
• I am more than my weight or my clothes size.
  
• and the big big one. I have peace. I have skills to be me without having to be what everyone else thinks I should be and I can have fun and be silly and be amazed at the little things in my day that have nothing to do with food and exercise but everything to do with a great life!!
  

How about you. What have you learned this past year that you know is part of your life and why this is the last time you'll ever see those pounds? I'd love to copy your posts and put them in my journal - for those nights that the power goes out!!

[HippoMommy]

I got to goal in November 2004, so 2005 was about maintenance.

I've lost weight (25 lbs or more) before, but this year was a first for me. I learned this year that it is possible for me to maintain this weight loss. Even when life throws me curves, or I'm a bit bored, I don't have to return to my old ways of coping. I learned that it really is as simple as doing the things that got me to goal in the form of a sustained lifestyle change. There is no magic, no other "cure" for my personal and family history of obesity. It's simply getting up each day and doing what it takes (following the food plan, getting in my activity, and using the Tools for Living).

[HippoMommy]

Probably many of you have already seen this piece. It came into my life in 1997, through some synchronistic serendipity, during a very sad time for me.

It has become an important "mission statement," that inspires me and keeps me on track. Maybe it will be inspirational to someone else. . .

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.



© Oriah Mountain Dreamer, from the book The Invitation published by HarperSanFrancisco, 1999

[xoxohart]

In 2005 I learned how to enjoy the journey when it comes to weight loss. I think every other effort I have ever made has been on a time line: "By our vacation in June, I could be 30 pounds lighter and wear a bikini!" Those timelines never worked, for me, for some reason. The deadline would come and go, and I would still be carrying around those 30, or 40, or 50 extra pounds.

In 2005, Core gave me a sense of peace about the whole weight loss thing. I discovered that I just felt better, mentally and physically, when I followed the plan. I was able to focus on one day at a time and not to let scale fluctuations bother me.

I also realized that any exercise was better than none. I decided that any time I made it to the gym, if even for 20 minutes, I would congratulate myself. I found that a little bit of exercise was all I needed to feel successful, and as the pounds melted off, exercise became more and more enjoyable. Now I earn about 15 APs a week, and can run 4 miles without stopping. It's incredible to me.