There's No On/Off Switch: Doing It For Life

[SusieQ]

How many times have you read on the boards, "I'm recommitting today" or "fell off the wagon, but I'm back on now"?

Lots of times. You've probably even said it yourself at one point or another.

But it's not the most constructive thinking when it comes to weight loss.

Why is that?

A weight-loss-promoting lifestyle is a health-promoting, taking-care-of-self, nurturing lifestyle. We ALL have had a time when we made a less-than-perfect choice for a meal, a snack, or even a day or two. But those who are ultimately successful do something different in their thinking than those who aren't.

And here are the differences:

SUCCESSFUL: "Wow. This restaurant doesn't have many healthful choices, and I'm really hungry. I'll choose the side salad and dress it with a squeeze of lemon, and ask for a hamburger, but without the bun. That's the best I can do here."

UNSUCCESSFUL: "Wow. This restaurant doesn't have many healthful choices, and I'm really hungry. They don't have FF dressing, so the side salad is out. I'll have to have the double quarter-pounder with cheese and a large order of fries. I've really blown it. Oh, well. If I'm going to blow it, I might as well enjoy myself and have a sundae for dessert."

Ok, it's an exaggeration, but not much of one. For Ms. Unsuccessful, this one meal's challenges often turn into a week, a month, even a year "off."

Sucessful people see the project of losing weight as similar to the process of building something huge with LEGOs. Each piece is very small, but by picking them up and placing them, one by one, one after another after another after another, the successful person builds a castle.

The successful person doesn't say to themselves, "I've blown it. I'll go back on tomorrow, next week, next year." The successful person isn't ON anything. There is nothing to go OFF of. The sucessful person says, "Yesterday I didn't make such good choices. Today I will make better choices." They NEVER give themselves mental permission to take a break.

Why would you want to take a break from self-love? Take a break from self-care? Take a break from self-nurturing?

Ahhhhhhhh.....there's an important leap here. DIETS...somethng you go on and off.....are all about deprivation. Healthful eating and exercising habits are all about self-indulgence. Yes! Self-indulgence!

And that's what I'm going to write about next....how to construct habits that support weight loss in such a way as to have them feel indulgent, rather than depriving!

But that's for another day..... Please feel free to jump in, comment, discuss...share your own experiences! You folks are the real experts on yourselves! And of course, as always, if there's something on your mind, start a new thread. You are all most welcome here.

Susie

[Rhonda]

Uh oh! You just described my past dieting mentality perfectly! I'm printing this out to stick on the refrigerator. It describes me to a "T."

[sandybear]

I guess I was kidding myself when I thought I was on "the journey". This thread really hit a spot with me! I looked at "the journey" as a weight-loss process but it is not really. It is more of a "taking care of me" journey. I think I get it now!

Are those fireworks I see?

[ksusarah]

I've been in those exact shoes "off the wagon". Recently, I have felt a shift in my thinking, I have become consistent in my efforts, instead of slacking off like I used to. I don't look at weekends like a time to overeat and make up for it during the week. I don't give up when I slip up....and my slip ups are a lot smaller and easier to handle than in the old days.

[Lesley1]

I am trying to develop a sense of entitlement about what I eat, especially when money is involved. Sometimes the only way to make a good choice is to spend more money--like ordering from the a la carte menu in a restaurant instead of the cheaper fixed price.
Or ordering additional side orders of vegetables. It is not easy for me to do these things, even though I get absolutely no negativity from my husband about it.

[dennes]

Healthful eating and exercising habits are all about self-indulgence.

OH DR Q---This is definitly a Core principle!

[jojopaul]

I used to be all or nothing. I believed I had to be "perfect" to achieve success. I had to extremely limit calories and exercise at the gym for one hour seven days a week to be successful. The first chance I made a mistake I felt like a failure, and gave it all up. That was the old me. I now take my new healthy lifestyle one day at a time. I tell myself everyday I don't have to be perfect I just have to make small changes that lead to eventual big successes. When I'm tempted to not go out and jog I remind myself that I don't have to, instead I choose to exercise. When I'm tempted to go off track I remind myself I never regret the feeling I have after a good day healthy eating nor do I ever come home saying I wish I hadn't wasted my time exercising. The moral, I take it one day at a time for the rest of my life.

[JoJo404]

lightbulb
lightbulb
lightbulb

[jmmoon]

Oh Wise Woman! you know all and see all...

I am happy to say that I am one of your successful people---since I moved into this phase of my self-improvement, my food management phase, I have never needed to recommit. Sure there have been a few poor choices along the way, particularly when I was still on points, but I always knew that I was committed. I am not ON anything, so no, nothing to fall OFF of.

And I do consider myself to be on a journey, my lifelong journey---something that will only end once.

[pat5031]

dear DR Q! you never cease to amaze me with your insight and wisdom. that's exactly why I have failed all the previous times on ww. core has been that "lightbulb" for me and it is "on" for life.

[saf2004]

Susie,
I'm so glad that I read this yesterday. I had a meeting at a coffee shop restaurant last night. They had no real good core choices for me (except for salad, which I was NOT in the mood for). I was about to say "srew it - there's not a good option, so i'm getting the cream soup and half a croissant sandwich." But, having these examples in mind, I instead thought to ask for a breakfast menu and ended up with a ham omlette made from egg beaters instead - still not a great diet option, but much more on plan than the soup/sandwich would have been. I was able to get fruit on the side instead of hash browns, and made the best choice I could, all things considered. And, it was very good/satisfying, plus it left me able to feel proud about my decisions, so it worked out well.
Thank you for giving me the power to say that!

[SusieQ]

Saf...wow!...you did great! And nothing makes me happier than hearing how something I wrote helped someone. So thank YOU for taking the time to share that NSV with me.

Susie

[Buttonsmom]

This is something I am still dealing with. I had the idea in the back of my mind, that if I could just hang on long enough.... (dieting) then my metabolism would bounce back up to what it was before I quit smoking, and everything would be skittles and beer.... NOT.
I have finally realized that this is what it is, and I will never be "naturally thin" again. Of course, I was never naturally thin, I was "nicotine controlled thin" which was in no way natural.
So, I can not just eat when I get hungry and quit when I get full like I did before. I seldom was hungry, I often would go for over 24 hours without eating. And, when I did eat, one soda cracker could last me for 4 hours if I had cigs available.
Now, I am hungry a lot. And, I also find that I am eating when I am not hungry, but when I am craving a cig. Almost a year since I quit....sure wish the cravings would quit.
I made some "fake cigs" by stuffing straws with cotton dipped in Vicks to suck on instead of grabbing food and hopefully that will help.
I am also going to track every bite that goes into my mouth so I can figure out how many cals I actually need in a day. I will start at my points target of 22+5 and increase my activity to 8 APs a day that I will not eat. And if I do not lose, I will drop WAPs until I do. I am also counting every point, even veggie and other 0 pt foods as partial points so I have a better idea of total cals in.
Once I know how many cals I actually need a day, it will be easier to customize core to what I can actually eat. Right now, it feels like an open-book test, but I bought the wrong book.

[SusieQ]

Dear Buttonsmom,

I hear you so loud and clear.

I'm an ex-smoker. I quit in 1989 and relapsed in 1998, smoked for two years and had to quit again. Ugh, that second time was ugly.


Also, metabolism slows down as we get older. (I'm gonna be fifty in July!) I've started to lift weights to build some lean muscle to counteract the slower metabolism of aging. Finally, I'm trying to keep my lean protein intake to around 40% of calories.

And..CONGRATULATIONS on being smober for a year!!!!! That's WONDERFUL!

You're absolutely right that there ain't no benefit to mourning that which we've left behind....and that we have to play the cards in front of us.

Fortunately, exercise is the ace of spades in the weight loss game, and everyone one of us can hold one.

Susie

[kealster]

WOW, I'm the one that just wrote two weeks ago that I was "so off progam". This thread surely made me think. Thank you Dr. Q.
I will print this and read it to myself every morning, kind of like meditating....that will help.