Cyclegoddess' Journal

[cyclegoddess]

Monday... went to doc today about this intermittent sharp chest pain... they actually sent me for a chest xray!! Said maybe its walking pneumonia.

Doc also thought the cough was a seperate issue, possibly a result of heartburn exacerbated by the cough from when I was sick a few weeks back. So also starting on Prilosec for a couple weeks. Jeepers.

Breakfast
TJ's shredded wheat - mmm!
blueberries
FF milk

Lunch @ Puerta Vallarta
Vegetarian burrito
2 points tortilla, 2 pts cheese, 1 pt extra oil = 5 pts
Plain iced tea

Dinner
Cuban black beans (bell pepper, onions, cider vinegar, canola oil)
Couscous
Whole grain toast (2 pts) w Smart Balance spray

Snacks
94% FF popcorn
SF/FF hot chocolate

[cyclegoddess]

Okeedokee... this is me trying to focus in. What a day today w Emma ER vet trip!

Saturday

Breakfast @ diner
Eggbeater omelet w spinach & mushrooms
Rye toast (no butter) - 4 pts
grits

Missed lunch - @vets
Decaf w skim milk

Dinner
WW rotini pasta
soycutash (Edamame, corn, peppers)
olive oil, red pepper flakes, spices

Dessert/ snacks
SF/FF chocolate fudge pudding w banana
apple
popcorn

[cyclegoddess]

Sunday

earl grey tea w splenda

Brunch @ Diner - 6 pts
Omelet w zuchini, tomatoes, mushrooms, broccoli
Potatoes
Homemade toast w butter
Decaf w skim

Dinner
FF refried black beans w onions, garlic, jalapenos
Soy-sation shredded cheese
Crystal Light sunrise orange

Dessert / Snacks
Blueberry, banana & apple crisp made w oatmeal & Smart balance light
chamomile & lemon tea

[cyclegoddess]

tuesday

breakfast
shredded wheat
ff milk

lunch @ mexican restaurant
'low fat veggie burrito"
ww tortilla - 1 pt
black beans, grilled onions, peppers.
yellow rice - pts??
guacamole
decaf

dinner
brown rice
grilled veg 'chicken' - 1pt
roasted corn, zucchini, red peppers, yellow peppers, edamame
2 tsp olive oil

snacks / desserts
banana
Fruit crisp: blueberries, banana, apple, oatmeal, cinnamon, Smart Balance Light

[cyclegoddess]

wednesday - day before WI!

breakfast @ spanish class
coffee cake 5 pts??? I'll say this, it was yummy.

lunch @tapa's
small med platter (skipped the warm toasted pita & feta)
hummus, bulghar, moussaka, tomatoes, onions, lettuce, tabouli. 2 pts oil
unsweetened iced tea w lemon

dinner
Guess this comfort food night, core style.
Grits made w FF milk, cinnamon, Smart Balance light
Sweet fried banana (splenda, cinnamon, spray canola)

[cyclegoddess]

Wahoo! Down -3.2. (That balances out my +3 last week). Be back later to post more...

Also got the news tonight that my aunt is dying. Probably wont come this weekend but soon.

Breakfast
shredded wheat & FF milk

Lunch @ Japanese restaurant
sushi (no fish) w avocado, cucumberseaweed salad w sprinkle sesame seeds

Dinner @ Olive Garden
Minestrone soup
Mediterranean shrimp scampi: olives, tomatoes, shrimp, butter/garlic sauce
over whole wheat linguini
3 breadsticks

[katelight]

I'm so sorry to hear about your Aunt. My prayers are with you and her that this ending of her life on earth will be a time of remembrance and love.

[xenagoddess]

Cycle I am so sorry about your Aunt. I don't know if I can say it more eloquently then katelight but know my thoughts are with you during this sad time.

Xena

[cyclegoddess]

Just came back from a weekend with the family, pretty much a funeral turned family reunion.

I think of my family being very supportive, I am out to them. Really that means my immediate family though. I'm out to my dad & step mom, but don't see them as often so we havent really talked about it since the time I came out. I haven't been in a serious relationship in awhile, so there hasn't been a natural way to come out to others such as through introducing a partner.

So during the course of the last two days, there was rather a bit of drinking after the funeral (that's a whole additional issue), as it brough up a lot of recent deaths on all sides of our family. My stepmom got into a loud conversation with my sister about there will never be any grandchildren, why don't people have kids at a regular age like they used to, why isn't my sister married, what's the matter doesn't she like men. (The ironic thing is she is the only straight one out of 3 sisters). The sister getting interrogated got all defensive, why are you asking ME that. Everyone running around whispering in the corners.

I am going to try to put my hands on why I am feeling so angry and isolated. First, the fact that I am gay is not a secret, if someone has an issue (or someone else in the family wants to know, am I?) they should just ask me directly. Second, my "supportive" sister acted like it was such an insult asking did she like men, she got all defensive talking about how long she's been dating the guy she is with. Second irony, my sisters AND my mom all think I am the most likely of the 3 of us to have kids - first, or at all. That is true. And third point., should I be angry or glad she is expressing she feels like we're failing them not providing grandkids yet? (Turns out she wanted to have more kids with my dad, he didn't, we never knew that.)

Her son died when he was 18, and the funeral brought back memories of her mother dying recently, along with my grandfather, plus grandmother on my mom's side, my cousin's parents and grandmother... am I missing anyone? My father and stepmom are now the oldest people in my family (young, mid-sixties). My step-mom realized that and got kind of upset and started asking if we would go to her funeral.

So, tough situation, alcohol made it worse. I'm upset about it, and feel guilty that I should maybe be more sympathetic. And I sure have not handled all this the healthiest way myself: I had a cinnabon for lunch (SERIOUS comfort food) and a seafood ravioli with cream sauce for dinner. I did have them put just a little sauce and only had a 1/2 glass of wine myself, but still couldn't call it healthy eating by any stretch.

[yellowmango]

Hey girl -

I don't often post to this board (it's all I can do to keep up with the WW board!) but I just saw your thread over there and wanted to stop by to offer a hug.

Family, alcohol, unspoken thoughts, a funeral, generational freakouts. Been there! I'm so sorry it turned into a stressy situation for you.

There's almost too many things to address in one note, but know that I'm sitting in Boston nodding empathetically and am cheering you for your strength, your good head on your shoulders and your sense of self and healthy perspective. No amount of cream sauce or cinnabons can dent that.

~ Yellowmango

[cyclegoddess]

Thanks Mango. "No amount of cream sauce or cinnabons..." - I'll remember that. Glad you stopped by.

[vita77]

Hi CG...just want to say hang in there. I relate so well to your "failing them by not providing grandkids" feelings. Stuff like that comes out under stress, so I try to keep it in perspective, though it's hard sometimes.

I also relate to those "Cinnabon for lunch" days. Happily, they're rarer now. Hope you can get out for a ride soon...always helps me .

[cyclegoddess]

Thanks Vita, a bike or run may be just what I need. i will think about where I can fit that in...

[kally]

can you find worse behaviour than that at a funeral? I don't think so. Lots of stress and anxiety and sadness makes us all a bit weird. Sounds like you handled it well.

[nra3aa]

I hope you are having a happier day today!