Before and After: Enriching the Now

[SusieQ]

At my highest non-pregnant lifetime weight - my "Before" - I was miserable. I found it painful to walk up stairs. I groaned when I got up from or plopped down onto the couch. I was always tired....never felt really rested...and I was irritable from being so tired. My back, hips, and knees hurt when I walked even a little. I felt like an old, old lady. I was 47 years old.

Now - at this moment of my "After" - I am 24 pounds from goal, I feel energetic and youthful, I rarely have joint pain, and I exercise vigorously for 45-60 minutes almost every day. I'm peaceful, content, and frequently experience joy in my everyday life. I have every expectation of meeting goal....and yet, I'm not impatient for it.

How does a person get from there to here? How does a person - how can YOU - transform your Before into an After? What's the secret?

The secret is the NOW.

"NOW" is the bridge that takes us from what we prefer to leave behind to what we hope to become. There is always, only, NOW.

When I was so terribly heavy and really, ill, from obesity, I wanted to recover my youthful athleticism. I so wistfully recalled being a jogger and logging between 15 and 30 miles a week. How could I get back THERE when I could barely walk up a flight of stairs?

I started by embracing the NOW.

I went out and bought myself Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds tapes - the 30 minute, two mile one. The first time I tried it, I literally had to get through it minute by minute, often modifying even her very easy movements to suit my stiff, fat, aching body. And when I finished that tape for the first time, I decided to celebrate the fact that I had begun, instead of bemoaning how far I - the enthusiastic jogger - had sunk.

I just did the best I could - NOW.

And you know what? The NOW kept changing! It kept getting better! But I couldn't rush it. I couldn't push it too hard. I couldn't neglect it. I couldn't waste energy thinking about NEXT - about when NEXT would come - because I was too busy being deeply engaged with the NOW.

And you know what? When you take care of NOW - NEXT takes care of itself!

Isn't that freeing? You don't have to worry about anything but right NOW! You don't have to worry about how hard those last 5 pounds will be to lose. You don't have to worry about next week's meals. You don't have to worry about how long it will take to lose all your weight...you just have to be fully aware of - fully alive to - fully engaged in NOW.

What are you doing to nourish and cherish your sacred health NOW? What are you doing to nourish your mind and spirit NOW? What are you doing well NOW? What do you need to do that you aren't, not for a lifetime, just for NOW?

Take care of NOW and NEXT takes care of itself.

How's your NOW doing?

Susie

[pat5031]

Susie, great topic. I so agree with you about the now!
I stay focussed on now and embrace now, not the past or the future (can't do anything about it), and, as you have said, the next takes care of itself. core is now for me! ;D

[Rita]

Suzie - I think you are my twin. I thought I was reading about myself (except for the jogging thing!) I too was miserable 'before'. I had all the same aches and pains as you described, the same trouble getting up off the couch or climbing the stairs. The WATP was the first exercise I tried, only I started with the 1 mile 15 minute one without any weights, which was about all I could handle. At the end my face was beet red and I was sweaty and out of breath. I found that each time I did it, it became easier and easier, until I was able to go on the the 2 mile and then progressively more challenging ones. I found that small goals - like getting through today - was much more manageable and attainable.

My goal now is still exercise. I know how important that is to weight maintenance. It isn't any easier now than it was then to get myself to do it. It's still a daily conversation I have with myself.

[lcdsmith]

Very inspired words. I find myself bemoaning the fact that I have lost so much of my athletic ability. But I can't change the past. I can work on now.

[GracieJones]

Great topic! One thing I started, and continue, is my "list" of reasons why Now is so much better than Before for me. This list is for me and only me. If I am ever run over by a bus, I want someone to destroy the list! I started the list after losing the first 30 pounds or so, and I keep adding things. There are now over 220 items. What do I put in there? Specific events that make me happy about my decision to lose weight. Some are very personal, but I'll share some: My emotions the first time I bought something for myself at Victoria's Secret; Riding in a friend's car without worrying about whether the seatbelt would fit; My pride when my son, when hugging me, showed me how wide his arms USED to be when he hugged me; Having only one size of clothes in my closet; Running my first mile; My entry after the Danskin Triathlon is pretty long; Being able to wrap up in a towel, etc. These are just a sampling of things from my list. I reread it often. My purpose for creating the list is for inspiration in those times when I feel weak, and for motivation when I begin to wonder if all the hard work is "worth it." I just read my list (or even just a few items) and I am definitely reminded that yes, it is worth it.

[jt&me109]

Gracie - that's a great idea!

Susie - thanks for some more thoughts to chew on.

[jeannethequeen]

Susie,
This is a great topic. But, I think my problem is that I am too comfortable with the "NOW"

I am only 15 lbs to goal and I feel like I am eating well, getting some exercise, and looking pretty good.

So NOW i think I have lost some of my MoJo

any advise?

anyone?

jeanne

[SusieQ]

Jeanne~

There are lots of ways to get the last pounds off, tips about varying your calorie intake from day to day, trying more or less protein or carbs, adding weight training to your exercise...but it sounds like your issue is more about motivation than not knowing what to do. If I'm right about that, what you may be feeling is that it's too much work to get those last pounds off. So I have some suggestions that might jumpstart your efforts and motivation, without leaving you feeling burned out.



1. Keep doing what you are doing, but pick ONE DAY each week to be "strict" food day....on that day, use no WPAs or APs, only Core foods. Carefully plan the whole day, and perhaps, on that ONE day, really watch your portions. You can do anything for one day out of seven, no?

2. Keep doing what you are doing, but pick ONE DAY (not the strict food day) to have a "PUSH THE LIMITS" exercise day. On that day, push the intensity or length of your workouts. Add serious weight training, if you don't already. Maybe schedule a consult with a personal trainer.

You might just find that the rewards (perhaps the scale budging for you) give you the incentive to add another "strict" day per week!

3.Complete this sentence: "I want to make goal because......" List as many reasons as you can think of that are true for you.

4. Plan an incentive for reaching goal: a spa vacation, a clothes-shopping spree, a gym membership....anything to make getting to the finish line more attractive.

5. Talk to folks who have made it to goal...your Leader, if you attend meetings, or Moonie, or JeddoMom or Rita...ask them about their last 15 pounds. Ask them how they feel now....see if you want that for yourself. Remember, other people have gone the distance. You can, too.

If that doesn't seem to be the help you were looking for, try posting again and tell me where you seem to get hung up.

Susie

[jeannethequeen]

Thanks Susie!
I am going to give the "strict" days a shot. I can do that at least and maybe it will give me a shove. I think my motivation problems are coming from a lack of end-goal. I will have to really think about a reward for goal. I can't do "event" goals like a lot of people do (ie 10 lbs by valentines day) because if I don't hit it, even if I'm only off by .5, it discourages me. And i'd rather be slow than discouraged and stuffing my face with candy
Thanks again and I'll keep you posted.

Jeanne

[SusieQ]

Please do keep me posted! I'd really like to know how you are doing.

And just as an aside, I think those "10 pounds by Christmas" deals stink. You CANNOT control how fast the scale responds, you can ONLY control your behaviors. People who focus on increasing their health-supporting behaviors fare better than folks who depend on the scale for their entire yardstick.

So don't worry about how fast the scale responds...just focus on your one-day-a-week extra effort days. (And don't compensate for them by slacking off on the others!)

Susie

[vita77]

Great thread. I'd like to call it "Seizing the Now."

In my old, unsuccessful dieting days, I started lots of sentences with "When I get to my goal weight, I'll....."

This time, I said h*ll with it. Why can't I do those things NOW? So I....

Bought a bike and started riding it
Started wearing sexy heels again
Invested in clothes that make me feel great about myself
Got a massage
Stopped worrying about how I look in a bathing suit, and just got into one
Joined a gym and acted like I belong there

It's made a real difference!

[Rita]

Vita - that's great advice! The better you feel about yourself the better care you take care of yourself and the more likely you are to keep doing what needs doing.

Jeanne - I know the feeling you are describing as it always happened to me before. I always got so close to goal and then got lazy. But this time it was different because I wasn't looking at my goal weight as an end in itself. The whole weight loss process became habit and I wasn't looking for it to end. In fact, reaching goal was really the beginning - of the rest of my life.

[jeannethequeen]

Thanks everyone. I went and weighed in last night and was up .5

Not such a big deal, but this morning I got out of bed 30 min early and did some yoga and breathing and it really made a difference in my mood. I didn't even mind when my entire clerical staff was MIA this morning and I had to register, set up, and SEE all of my patients. (whew) And even though the patients were giving me dirty looks for the long wait, I still am in a pretty good mood.

So my "Seizing the Now" for today is this:
I am breathing, I am healthy, and I am drinking my water

;D

Jeanne

[kwvane]

So much to think about, and so much good advice. Thanks, Susie, for starting this...and thanks to everyone for sharing. Don't know that I've honestly taken stock of my Now. My homework for the w/e...

[keliCAN]

Thank you. Thank you so much for this thread. I am very much a worrier, and I need to learn to focus on the now.

I am thirteen pounds down from my all-time high, seven of that during my first week on the Core Plan, and six of that which I hadn't re-gained from my last weight-loss effort. I have been regularly attending exercise class, twice a week, for more than a year. For the first time in my life, I'm enjoying exercise (well, for the most part). I've joined WW. I'm eating better.

Right now, I'm doing something positive. I'm doing something. I'm learning how to do better.

That's my now, and it isn't bad when I look at it that way.

Again, thank you. What you said helps.