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Post by SusieQ on Jan 12, 2005 7:14:51 GMT -5
Good morning! Such a wonderful, thoughtful response to yesterday's question! Isn't it something to realize, that for all our working and thinking about weight loss, we pay so little attention to food when we are actually eating? ? Ok, today I promised you I would tell you one simple, little, powerful technique for mindful eating. You are doing it right now. Breathing. Here iti is. If you just DO THIS ONE THING and nothing else every time you eat today, you will see and feel a difference. Make this a habit, and you will cut down ENORMOUSLY on the times you eat mindlessly. But not any old breathing. Here's what you do. Before you take the first bite of any food, at any time, anywhere, you STOP! and take one very slow, very deep breath. In slowly through your nostrils, out slowly through your nostrils. And as you breath in, breathe in, feel everything slow down in your body and in your mind. Center yourself in the moment. As you breathe out, breathe out tension and hurry. If it helps you, find a mantra, something short to say to yourself through this one breath. Something like, "I am here now for this gift of food" on the in-breath, and "I will honor my body when I eat" on the out breath. That's all. Just do that before you eat. It's a habit to be formed, just like brushing your teeth. If you find yourself reluctant to do it, ask yourself...of all the good weight loss habits we have to establish - buying and cooking Core food, keeping track of F/V and oils, slugging down ounces and ounces of water....how much effort and time does it take to do ONE MINDFUL BREATH before a meal? ? And yet it's powerful. So that's it. That's the magic bullet. Ideally, you stop and take the magic breath every time you catch yourself going mindless, eating too fast, not paying attention, during a meal. But even if you just do it at the beginning, which is all I am asking you to try, it's still incredibly powerful. Try it. Just for one day. Tell me how it goes. If you do create a mantra for yourself, and feel comfortable sharing it, I'd love to hear it! This technique breaks the thoroughbred at the starting gate phenomenon...you know, how we tend to pick up the fork and bolt? If you interrupt that habit before the first bite, you've gone a long way to becoming a mindful eater. And a mindful eater is a slender eater! So that's what I want you to do today. Or tomorrow. Just make a committment to take one slow, mindful breath before eating anything. For one day. Surely your weightloss efforts deserve such a little experiment? Today's doing task: mindful breath before eating. Today's thinking task: Let's look at all the problems you wrote about yesterday, the things that interfere with mindful eating, and brainstorm about how to solve those problems. The first one I'd like to tackle is the eating-while-doing-other-things problem. Biggest culprits - eating while watching TV or being on computer, and eating at desk at work. 1. Eating while watching TV or computer 2. Eating over desk at work I have some ideas about those things, but first let's work on it together. I'd like to ask you all to brainstorm possible solutions. Just let 'em fly - they don't have to be perfectly thought out. Brainstorming is about just letting thoughts, reactions, and possibilities loose. Shake up the old thinking. So....how about it? What are potential solutions to those problems? And....is it important to solve those problems? If so, why? Let the thinking begin! (And doing. Don't forget to breathe!) Susie
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Post by Luv2Cook2004 on Jan 12, 2005 11:47:47 GMT -5
A solution for me would be to sit down at the kitchen table to eat and make no exceptions I probably would not eat as often watching TV if I had to go sit at the table!!!
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Post by LessOfMe2C on Jan 12, 2005 12:07:24 GMT -5
Susie, can I just start by saying you are brilliant!!!! I love reading your posts here (I know I need to start posting more) as they are so incredibly well thought out and written!! I will BREATHE before each meal today! As for the mindless eating......the computer is my problem, not so much the tv. I think one solution, or more like a compromise, is to have a nice hot tea or cold water if you prefer, instead of wanting to snack. You would still feel like you are having something, but you wont be mindlessly eating. Another thought is to chew gum if that might help...just to keep you busy. Of couse ultimatley, the goal would be to even eliminate those habits, but at least it would be a helpful transition.
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Post by Rhonda on Jan 12, 2005 12:21:40 GMT -5
Susie, can I just start by saying you are brilliant!!!! I love reading your posts here (I know I need to start posting more) as they are so incredibly well thought out and written!! Ditto! In fact, I've copied and pasted the 3 steps into a Word document that I can print out and put in my little "on-line WW book" of stuff I like to have in front of me! I breathed before breakfast! Haven't had lunch yet, so I haven't breathed between breakfast and lunch! Sorry, couldn't resist!
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Post by saf2004 on Jan 12, 2005 12:36:37 GMT -5
Ditto! In fact, I've copied and pasted the 3 steps into a Word document that I can print out and put in my little "on-line WW book" of stuff I like to have in front of me! I have too!!! Susie, this is really amazing stuff - thank you so much for sharing with us! I was just thinking "if I ever need a psychiatrist, I want to fly cross country to go to Susie". I'm in CA, and I think you said you're in NY, so here's to hoping my mental balance stays in place. That would be one expensive counseling session! Well, I just finished eating breakfast before I read this, so I'll make a point to breathe deeply before lunch. As for the eating while doing other things, I think that Luv2cook hit the nail on the head - just don't let yourself do that! Set a rule with yourself that food is only to be consumed at the table (or someplace else with no distractions). And then, stick to it (which will be the hard part).
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Post by Rhonda on Jan 12, 2005 13:05:40 GMT -5
I have such a terrible, terrible time not eating at my computer - lunch is the perfect time for me to proofread my transcription on the computer screen, which results in TOTAL MINDLESS EATING - usually, I have no clue what I even ate, much less enjoyed it!
I do need to brainstorm a solution to that one!
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Post by Angie on Jan 12, 2005 13:15:20 GMT -5
First of all, thank you for this wonderful topic!!! I've been doing a lot of reading and reflecting on this very thing. (If you haven't read the book, Volumetrics, it is pretty much the basis of the CORE plan. Very enlightening!) Anyway, my biggest problem is reading while I'm eating. I've always done this. I've been forcing myself to put the book, paper, whatever away during meals and concentrate on the food. You know, eating is really not all that exciting when that's all you're doing! Maybe I can get bored with eating!!!! My next step is to work on the BREATHE method. I figured I would do the old standby "Bless us oh Lord..." during the exercise. Sort of a "food for the body, food for the soul" idea. It'll also be a great comfort exercise since when I was growing up we always said that prayer before eating. Wish me luck!
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Post by dennes on Jan 12, 2005 13:45:22 GMT -5
I made the transition to eating at the table instead of in front of the TV but it was very difficult. Even though my DH & I had conversation during the meal we didn"t think it was as much "fun" as watching the news and deciding what should be done about world peace & the national debt! Our solution was to set the table with glowing candles & flowers & play relaxing music on the stereo (softly). This is helping.(Been doing for 1 month) Now we will add the breathing.
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Post by Lesley1 on Jan 12, 2005 14:02:25 GMT -5
I took a mindful breadth before lunch, and I feel amazingly more satisfied.
Inhale mantra: "May everyone have enough to eat." Exhale mantra: "May there be peace in the world."
Thank you, Susie.
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Post by Rhonda on Jan 12, 2005 14:32:31 GMT -5
Okay, Susie, a weird (but good) thing happened with me with lunch today! Now, I am the queen of sabatoging my own diets - I've been known for years to weigh in and immediately head to the nearest drive-in Today, I decided that I just had to have a hamburger for lunch. I mean, I really wanted this hamburger! After all, I was done with work and about to leave anyway to pick the boys up. I really thought about that hamburger, how much I wanted it, etc. Well, before I left, I decided to just kind of "chill out" for a minute, relax, and breathe a minute. I sat down at the table and actually gave myself permission to have that hamburger and count the points for it. Guess what!? After sitting there mulling about it, I decided that it wasn't worth spending the points on, that I really didn't want it that bad anyway, and I had a salad instead!!!!! This is a huge NSV for me!!! I don't know if it had anything to do with breathing or mulling, or just being mindful and not impulsive, or all of the above! Anyways, woo hoo! One day, you're going to write a book about this stuff and we're going to be watching you on Oprah - you better invite us to the show! ;D
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Post by SusieQ on Jan 12, 2005 15:09:19 GMT -5
This is so exciting for me to read! Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. I'm quite moved by your willingness to try new things and to write about them! Thank you.... I'll have more to say about some of these things, perahps tomorrow or Friday. I want to give more people a chance to breathe, think, and write back. But you guys...are really beautiful... Susie
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Post by sitstay on Jan 12, 2005 15:15:59 GMT -5
Suzie, Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us. I'm going to practice my breathing before meals. My body takes a LONG time to tell my brain it is full. I've found often I eat too fast at home because hubby does the dishes and if I don't finish fast enough he won't do pots and pans that have left overs in them. So after reading this thread and thinking. I'll put all of the leftovers in the tupperware before we sit down to eat. I think I'll also eat half of what my eyes told me to put on my plate and, then split my plate in half.....breathe some more. ;D Then decide if I really need the rest.
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Post by PrincessMom75 on Jan 12, 2005 19:54:21 GMT -5
This site is definantly like no other I have ever been a member of. This site helps you with all aspects of the stressful time with losing weight and making a life change. Making a real life change , something you will do the rest of your life is a really big deal .It is more than just watching what you eat and such . It is also changing the way you think or the habits you have. Thank you so much Susie for coming here everyday and helping us truely change the last part and I think the most important part of the life changing journey. We all know the part of portion sizes, low calorie, non processed , and exercise thing , but this is something that I don't think we really put much thought into until you brought it to realality.
Thank you so very much. ((((hugs))))
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Post by mamalail on Jan 12, 2005 22:16:01 GMT -5
Just a quick question.....how do help people like me who have a fear of success? I've made lifetime with WW but have gradually added pounds....I know I have trouble dealing with my success....I know it sounds strange but I do not really like all of the attention my weight loss has brought. It has given me self confidence which is good but I haven't gotten a grip on what to say when others give compliments or ask about the weight loss. Thanks for any insight into this question.
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Post by SusieQ on Jan 13, 2005 7:56:44 GMT -5
Mama,
You are not the first person to get derailed by success!
I'll very probably be writing about that subject in the furture. But for you, right now, here's a suggestion.
Get a little notebook. Doesn't have to be fancy. A child's marble composition book will do.
Sit down with your notebook, and go back in your mind to when you were at goal, and the disturbing attention was at its peak. Try and remember specific conversations with specific people. As you remember them, make a note about it in your notebook.
For example, "The day at work that Sally kept talking about how good I looked at our coffee break and I wanted to crawl under the desk."
If you can't remember specific conversations with specific people, make up about 5-10 situations that COULD have happened. As long as its emotionally true for you...that it captures what it was that upset you about people noticing your weight loss.
Once you've done that, it's time to work on changing your reactions.
For each of your written examples, now sit there and imagine it all over again, only this time, pretend, and imagine yourself ENJOYING the compliments. Imagine how a person completely unconflicted about weight loss success would react, and then imagine yourself reacting that way. Keep practicing acting like a unconflicted, confident slender person.
For example:
Sally (your imaginary co-worker): "Oh, mama, you look so GOOD since you've gone back to WW! What size are you wearing now? Everybody's talking about you and how much you look!"
You: (your imaginary confident self.): "Thank you, Sally. I do feel much better since I'm wearing a smaller size. Thanks for noticing. What are you doing this weekend? Anything special?"
See? Keep rehearsing mentally until you have perfected the image of someone who isn't conflicted about their weight loss. Practice not answering specific questions if that upsets you - notice in my example I didn't answer the question about what size I (you) wear. Notice I (you) changed the subject.
THe best response to a compliment, by the way, is a simple "thank you." Then change the subject if it makes you uncomfortable.
Many people do this:
Friend: "Oh, what a pretty dress. Is it new?"
You: "This old thing? No, it's old as forever. I got it real cheap at a garage sale."
NO NO NO NO!!!!!!
Friend: "Oh, what a pretty dress. Is it new?"
You: No, I've had it for a while, thank you. It's my favorite color. Have you noticed how wearing a favorite color picks up your mood? What's your favorite color?"
Good luck! Try to anticipate what difficulties will await you when you lose weight so you can practice reacting to them differently. This mental rehearsal technique is a very powerful tool. When it starts happening in real life, use your notebook to brainstorm. If you meet with conversations that upset you, write them down in the notebook. Make an affirmation that those things won't make you stop taking care ofyourself. Write down what you MIGHT have said. It's better to find the right response later than never at all....it helps you say the right thing for the NEXT time! Practice, practice.
Good luck, Susie
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